


father figure

by coffeeandcigarettesplease



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Coercion, Daddy Kink, Dark, Dubious Consent, Emotional Manipulation, F/M, Grooming, Manipulation, Modern AU, Power Imbalance, Praise Kink, Pregnancy Kink, Preying on vulnerabilities, Sleeping Beauty Syndrome, Somnophilia, Statutory Rape, Underage - Freeform, Virgin Rey, dead dove do not eat, high school rey, soccer coach Ben, unprotected sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-14
Updated: 2019-05-02
Packaged: 2019-10-10 05:14:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 21
Words: 28,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17419739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coffeeandcigarettesplease/pseuds/coffeeandcigarettesplease
Summary: Rey’s soccer coach seems like a nice guy that wants to help her out of a bad situation. But what will Mr Solo expect in return?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MalevolentReverie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MalevolentReverie/gifts).



> Inspired by the movie Palo Alto.

“Hey Rey, still need a ride?”

 

I glance up from my shin guard and squint against the sunlight at my soccer coach. Mr Solo is a pretty cool guy, for being a grown up. Cute, too - all the girls on the team think so. Pava rolls her eyes as I nod with a soft thank you, and he nods before leaving us to finish our cool down stretches.

 

“I can’t believe the luck,” Kaydel whines, looping her arm around her knees to pretend-glare at me. “Coach is so hot. I’d probably throw myself at him if we were alone for five minutes.”

 

Jess snickers and nods. “Like please, Mr Solo, let me suck your big cock,” she says in a high pitch voice that makes them laugh. They’ve done all that stuff before, with guys in our grade, at house parties and kick-backs at the beach. I’ve never gone, because I know how awkward it would make me. I don’t drink, or smoke, or stay out late doing “normal” teenager things. I’m boring, a nobody. Boys don’t pay attention to me and I don’t do anything outside of school work and soccer practice.

 

The girls think I’m a snob, but I’m not. Just socially awkward.

 

That’s what happens when you grow up, bounced from foster home to group home, a few dozen times. Nothing is permanent except for school. So I try hard to do well there, hoping it’s enough when I age out of the system. Sometimes foster kids get really good scholarships, because of our shitty circumstance. That’s what I’m counting on.

 

“Gonna go for it, Niima?” Kaydel asks, waggling her eyebrows as I stand and brush dirt and grass from the seat of my shorts. I blush and shake my head no - I’m only sixteen, and Mr Solo is a grown man. At least in his thirties. What would he want with me, anyway?

 

“See ya tomorrow,” I say. I jog to the stands and grab my backpack, cleats smacking against the concrete as I wait for Mr Solo. He makes sure everyone is off safely before joining me by the metal risers.

 

“Let’s go, kid.” He tugs my ponytail and I trail him up to the parking lot. Mr Solo drives one of those nice sedans, all black with soft leather and seats that heat and cool. I drop into the passenger seat, resting my backpack on top of my sneakers, and fasten my seatbelt.

 

Ever since he learned that I live in the Jakku district all the way across town, and that I have to walk, Mr Solo has been driving me. He always asks in a way that makes it feel like my choice, not like he’s actually giving me one. I know he doesn’t like that I have to walk through the bad part of town, or that I live there. I know he doesn’t like my guardian, Unkar Plutt, because he gets this disgusted look on his face whenever the topic comes up.

 

“Things ok at home?” Mr Solo asks as he navigates onto the main road through town. Traffic is bad this time of day; people leaving work to hurry home to their dinner and families. We inch along and I sag down in my seat.

 

“Yeah,” I lie. “It’s fine.” I know Mr Solo isn’t like other grown ups, that he actually cares and listens. But I only have a year and a half until I’m free from Plutt. I like my school, my sort of friends, playing on the soccer team. Getting sent back would likely mess all of that up, and that’s the last thing I want. I can put up with the old booze hound until graduation.

 

“You know you can tell me anything, Rey,” Mr Solo says. His hand moves from the shifter to my knee, the exposed pale between my shorts and my tall socks. I blush all over at the weight of his warm palm. No one ever really touches me, and it’s unexpected. “I’m here to make your life better.”

 

“I know,” I reply softly. 

 

“I want to be more than just your coach, Rey,” Mr Solo says. I glance nervously to his open, handsome face. High cheekbones bracket a long nose above pillowy, pink lips that look almost feminine if not for his goatee. His long black hair is wavy, often pulled back on top of his head. He’s cute, but that’s not the right word - it feels juvenile. He licks his lips while I study him, and my stomach does a somersault.

 

“You’re more than my coach,” I whisper. “You’re my friend. Right, Mr Solo?”

 

“Right.” He grins and squeezes my knee, putting his hand back on the shifter. It’s easier to breathe when he isn’t touching me.

 

“Do you have a cell phone?” Mr Solo asks after a while. I shake my head, no. Like Plutt would spring for one of those for me. He barely notices when I’m home or away - so long as the government checks keep rolling in, he doesn’t care what I do.

 

“Ok. That’s ok, Rey.” We’re reaching the row of shitty, rundown houses that line my block and Mr Solo’s car slows down to barely a crawl. “I’m always around, Rey. You can come over to my place sometimes, if you want. Do homework, eat a nice dinner. Have some peace and quiet.”

 

“Thank you, Mr Solo,” I mumble. I move to unfasten my seatbelt but he grabs my arm. 

 

“I’d like you to call me Ben,” he says, loosening his grip but still holding on. “When it’s just the two of us, I want you to call me Ben.”

 

“O-okay, Ben.” I smile a tiny smile and duck my head to hide it, embarrassed. Mr Solo - Ben - chuckles and lets me go. I swing my bag on my shoulder and thank him for the ride before skipping up the sagging porch and letting myself inside.

 

Unkar grunts from his spot on the couch, eyes never leaving the flickering television set. I take the stairs two at a time and flop back on my rickety twin bed, hugging a pillow to my face and screaming.

 

I feel noticed, for the first time in my whole life. And it feels _really_ nice.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rey is so thirsty Ben please help her

I’m dying all day long at school, anticipating soccer practice and the car ride after. I’m going to ask Mr Solo if I can study at his house tonight, I’m going to really do it. It’s been a week since he offered, and we have a big test coming up in biology that I need to study for. It would be better, probably, if I just locked myself in my room at home. But it feels like a good excuse to take Coach up on his offer. 

 

I daydream about what his place will look like. I bet he drinks dark beer while he makes dinner for one. I wonder if he walks around shirtless, if I’ll get to see the broad, pale expanse of his chest. He’s such a big man, and it makes me feel itty-bitty in comparison, which for reasons unknown makes my tummy flip around pleasantly. I like feeling small and delicate, especially because of him.

 

Practice finally starts. I warm up with my teammates, half-listening to the school day’s drama. Poe Dameron was kissing some freshmen at lunch, even though he and Kaydel hooked up last weekend. She’s trying to act tough about it, but when our eyes meet I can see how bloodshot they are; she’s been crying.

 

Part of why I never care too much about dating. Someone always gets hurt, and I can’t stand it to be me. Having to see that person every day after, like your heart isn’t being stomped on every time you make eye contact or pass them by in the hall? It makes me nauseous to even think about, to see someone else experience. I can’t imagine what it would be like to go through it myself.

 

We run laps and Mr Solo makes us run drills on the field. He wants me to take striker, and I focus hard, trying to be quick and light, to make him proud of me. Of the faith he put in me, putting me in this role.

 

I even score a goal on Pava, our best goalie. Everyone cheers for me and I blush, feeling silly, but also really good. After we do our cool down, Mr Solo sees the rest of the team off while I get my back and school shoes together. We walk up to the parking lot slowly, my cleats loud on the cement. I slide into the passenger seat once he’s unlocked the door and tuck the loose wisps of hair behind my ears nervously.

 

“Things going well?” Mr Solo asks as he starts the engine.

 

“Actually,” I start, wringing my hands in the loose material of my T-shirt. “I was hoping I could study at your house tonight. If that’s ok, B-Ben.” 

 

I timidly glance at him, finding a wide grin on his handsome face. Ben’s hair is pulled back today, showing his big ears - it’s endearing. He looks much younger when I can see his ears, like they make him less serious and grown up. “Of course, Rey. We can order pizza and I can help.”

 

The route towards his place is much shorter, making me realize how out of his way Ben has to go to take me home. Guilt gnaws at me as he pulls up the drive of a modest, one story house with a neat yard and tall oak tree out front. It’s cute, like something from a home and garden magazine. I get out and follow him around the back, where he lets us in through a side door.

 

“Don’t mind the mess,” Ben says, tossing his keys on the counter. “Didn’t expect company.”

 

The mess appears to be mainly a pile of bills on the kitchen table. It’s neat as heck compared to Plutt’s where everything is covered in a fine layer of grease or dust. The walls are even sticky there. But Ben’s home is straight and orderly. I loop my backpack on the back of a kitchen table chair and unzip it to grab my textbook and notebook. I toe off my cleats under the table as Ben moves around his home.

 

It’s cozy and warm, quiet. I like it a lot. I fold my legs under me as I sit at his table, opening my textbook and finding a blank spot in my notebook for scribbling. Ben opens the fridge and grabs a bottle of dark beer - point one for me - and popping the top. “Want one?” he offers.

 

Is it a trick? I shake my head, no. “I’m not much of a party-girl,” I reply shyly. “I’ve never drank before.”

 

“Good girl. No wonder your teammates give you so much shit.” He chuckles and sits across from me, pulling out his phone to fiddle with it.

 

“They’re just messing with me,” I say softly. “They think I’m stuck up.”

 

“But you’re not, are you?” Ben asks, tilting his head at me. “You’re a sweet, good girl. I bet you’ve never gotten in trouble in your life.”

 

I grin at my book, I can’t meet his toffee-gold eyes. No one has ever called me a good girl before. It makes the back of my neck feel hot. 

 

“What kind of pizza do you like?” Ben asks, sensing my awkwardness. I shrug and dare my notebook page before skimming over the beginning of the chapter in my biology book. He calls and orders a large pepperoni and my mouth waters at the thought. I only get pizza at school on Fridays, when the cafeteria makes it for hot lunch. A real greasy hot pizza sounds so good.

 

“What’re we working on?” Ben asks. He moves to stand over me, leaning one hand two inches from my own to read over my head. “Biology, huh. Fun stuff.”

 

“Were you s good student?” I ask curiously. I doodle in the margin and try not to stare at his big hand. It could cover mine twice over, probably. He’s so big.

 

“I did ok. Was more focused on sports, you know? Thought if I was good enough, I’d get to play professionally some day.” Ben chuckles, a hollow sound, before signing and standing up. He finishes his beer and sets it near the sink, and opens another quickly. 

 

“I’ve never been that good,” I mumble. I can’t focus when he’s here, talking to me. It’s nice, feeling like he likes me enough to speak candidly. I pretend to focus on the text in front of me, and Ben disappears further into his house. I actually kind of pay attention to the bit about cells, when he returns in basketball shorts and a tight white shirt that clings to his arms and chest. 

 

Mr Solo must be one hundred percent muscle. He grins as he flops down at the table and sets a little rectangular box in front of me. “I wanted to wait for your birthday. But I’m impatient.” 

 

I pick up the box and slide the lid off. Inside is an older model iPhone, but in good shape. I gape at him in shock. “Mr Solo,” I say softly, palming the phone and smiling. “You shouldn’t have - I can’t afford a plan, and -“

 

“Please, Rey. It was very reasonable, and the phone was free to add a line. It’s ok. I want you to have it.” His gentle smile encourages me. Quickly, before I can think better of it, I jump up and throw my arms around him in a hug. I’ve never had an adult care about me like this, want to do something for me just to _help_ with nothing in return. I don’t know what to say as I press the circle button and bring the screen to life.

 

I open the messages up, as there is a little red notification flag. The message is from Mr Solo, and it just says _Hi._ I grin up at him, struggling to contain my excitement.

 

“This way, you can contact me whenever you need. If there’s an emergency, or you’re just... really bored,” he says, grinning at me.

 

“You wouldn’t be annoyed with me?” I ask sheepishly.

 

“Of course not. You are one of my favorite people, Rey. I want to talk to you all the time.” Big fingers drum against the table as my face floods with heat. Does he really mean it? He _likes_ me that much? The door bell rings, cutting our moment short. It’s the pizza. 

 

The rest of the night flies by. I get barely any work done, but it doesn’t matter. I’ve never felt special like this before, like he really wants me around. Once it hits eight, we pack up and Ben drives me home. I thank him the whole way for my new phone.

 

“I’ll text you when I’m home.” Ben grins as I hop out, and up the stairs to my home. Plutt is snoring and I go right upstairs. I drop my things in my room, except for my phone. I’ll never let it leave my side. I don’t want Unksr to discover it. He would try to sell it, I’m sure, for beer money. I take a quick shower and the phone vibrates while I’m brushing my teeth, standing at the sink in a ratty, thin towel tucked under my arms.

 

 **Ben**  
_I’m home now. Thanks for keeping my company tonight. It made my day._

 

I blush and hug the phone tight to my chest. Warmth spreads through me, a gentle wildfire. Mr Solo makes me feel so different, so special. I don’t know how to show him how much it means to me.


	3. Chapter 3

We have a game Saturday night. Ben texts me in the morning while I’m still under the covers in my bed, warm and sleepy. Plutt always sleeps in, he won’t say anything if I do because he won’t know. Instead, I blink at my phone and grin at the picture Ben has sent me.

 

He’s still in bed, shirtless and gazing into the camera with a sleepy smile. It makes me feel hot all over and I stare for long moments until he texts again.

**Ben**  
_that ugly, huh? No response?_

 

**Rey**  
_I think we both know you are far from ugly. Maybe I was just admiring you._

 

It feels so forward to type that I hide under my pillow until he responds. 

 

**Ben**  
_you should send me one too. So I can admire you._

 

My pink cheeks turn even darker. He wants a picture of me, too? I turn the front facing camera on and finger comb my dark brown hair. It’s a mess of waves, bed rumpled. I’m wearing an old tank top my nipples poke at. But ... I kind of like the idea of Ben seeing them. Me. All of me. Hot flush creeps down my neck and I smile awkwardly before examining the picture. It’s not awful, I don’t look too dorky. Just young, probably too young for him to be attracted to. But his response is quick.

 

**Ben**  
_wow, Rey. You’re like an actual angel. I wish you were here._

 

**Rey**  
_don’t make fun of me, Ben!!_

 

**Ben**  
_you really don’t realize how beautiful you are, do you?_

 

I blush and hide under the covers for a while, until it’s time to get up. I braid my hair and stick the bow on the end like my teammates and I have planned. Then I tug on my uniform. 

 

**Ben**  
_Leaving to pick you up now. Be there soon._

 

I wait on the front stoop. It’s still warm for autumn, and the breeze feels good. I have my bag packed with extra clothes in case Ben invites me over after the game - which I’m really, _really_ hoping he does. I really like being alone with him, at his house. No one to see us, or tease me about having a crush on him. None of my teammates to act like something funny is going on. We can actually _talk_ and just hang out, like friends. No pressure. No prying eyes.

 

Moments later, Ben pulls up. I skip down the steps and hop in the front seat. Ben flashes me a big, lazy grin, behind black framed sunglasses. His dark hair is damp and curling. He looks really good today. I squirm in my seat.

 

“Like the ribbon,” he says as we pull off. The team rides together on a school bus when we have away games, but Ben said he would drive me to and from. It was easier, he said - I didn’t care. It gave me forty minutes alone with him, just us and the highway, and the thought makes my belly tumble.

 

“It was Kaydel and Jess’s idea,” I say with a shrug. “You know, uniformity. For the team.”

 

“Those two are something else,” Ben says with a wry chuckle. “Someday, they’re gonna get into some real trouble. You steer clear from them, ok, Rey?”

 

“They don’t like me much anyway,” I murmur. I play with the zipper on my green track jacket. It matches my Resistance High Soccer uniform and shorts beneath. “I mean, they like that I’m good at soccer. But they never invite me to like, hang out or go to parties.”

 

“That’s ok. Nothing good ever happens at those parties,” Ben says knowingly. I guess he would - I found out the other day that he will be thirty-two in a few weeks, after Halloween. He’s twice my age, but when we are alone it doesn’t feel like that. It feels like he’s my mature _friend_ , looking out for me. Caring about me. It’s really nice.

 

“Sometimes I wonder if I’m missing out,” I reply and glance out the window. Empty meadows and dense forest fly by. We pass the Resistance High school bus where my classmates are hyping each other up, ore-game excited, bouncing around. I feel lucky to be with Coach. 

 

“Trust me. Those girls will be used up by college, desperate for Mr Right Now to knock them up and give them purpose. That’s all girls like that are good for, Rey. You’re so much better than them.” Ben’s grip tightens on the wheel and something dark passes over his features. “It won’t matter who, not to them. And I think it matters a lot to you.”

 

“What do you mean?” I ask. 

 

“You’re still a virgin,” Ben says. He glances at me like he’s gauging my reaction. I blush deeply but nod - it’s embarrassing. I’m the last virgin in my grade it seems. “You know how important it is, picking the right person to give it to. Shouldn’t be any of these little boys, no. Should be a worthy man. Someone that will love and take care of you. Not drop you like a hot potato once he gets a nut off.” 

 

“Like my husband?” I ask, frowning in confusion. I’m way too young to be thinking about marriage - I’m not religious or anything. 

 

“Sure. Doesn’t _have_ to be your husband, but maybe someone that loves you like that. Who wants to love you a long time.” Ben smiles and touches under my chin. “Don’t worry, Rey, your Prince Charming is certainly out there somewhere.”

 

I bite my lip and nod. I’m not sure what he’s talking about, but Ben seems pleased with himself for the rest of the drive. 

 

——

 

“Got a ride with Coach again?” Kaydel asks as we warm up on the sidelines. It’s a sunny afternoon, windy. The other team - the Rebels - are good. But I think we’re better. I swing my arms and nod at my teammate.

 

“Getting awfully _cozy_ with him.” She grins, but I can tell her words aren’t really friendly. She’s jealous. Ben has warned me the other girls would be when the found out we had a special relationship. We had to keep it private. The phone and texting, me hanging out with him. People would get the wrong idea, no matter what I tried to say.

 

_”A girl like you is too pretty for people to believe it’s totally innocent. We have to be careful.”_ Ben has just spoken about it the other night. I willed my face to stay blank, emotionless, as Rose and Pava stepped over to join us.

 

“Yeah, it seems like you two are super close,” Rose says. Of all my teammates, she’s my favorite. Also a nerd who doesn’t go out much, with thick black hair and round cheeks that grow rosy with exertion. 

 

“He feels bad for me,” I reply with a shrug. “My foster dad sure as heck doesn’t care if I walk across town in the rain or get mugged. Coach is just looking out for me.” I nervously flick my braid over my shoulder and glance between the three of them - Rose softens visibly while the other two remain suspicious. “Guys, it’s not like that - what would he see in _me_ , anyway? Out of all the girls on the team?” It’s a subtle ego stroke that Ben instructed me to employ if they wouldn’t drop the subject. It works, too, just like he promised.

 

“You’re right. I mean, no offense, Rey,” Jess says, rolling her big dark eyes. “But you’re definitely not the hottest girl on the team.”

 

“Exactly.” I’m just a boring goodie-two-shoes. As if they had forgotten. We finish up and a ref whistles to start the game. I meet Ben’s gaze and he nods, hands clapping to get us pumped. I almost feel guilty for lying, until I remember that it’s what we have to do to keep our friendship secret. It’s not us, I think solemnly, it’s the rest of the world who wouldn’t understand.

 

The game is long and I play hard, a perfect kick aiming the ball sailing into the corner of the net, goalie diving but not far enough. My teammates lift me in hugs and Ben looks so proud he could burst. It feels awesome, I want to remember this night forever.

 

The ride home, Ben is enthusiastically giving me a play by play as though I weren’t on the field for most of it. He’s so passionate, and his glee is contagious. By the time we get back to his house - he didn’t even ask, just drove right there - the sun is setting and my cheeks ache from smiling for so long.

 

“Want a shower?” he asks as I toe off my cleats at the back door. I am feeling grimy so I nod. “I’ll show you. Come on.” My bag bounces against my side as I follow him down the hall to his master bedroom. “The shower is in here. The hallway is only a half bath.”

 

I nod and dump my bag on the sink as he turns the nobs and gets the warm water flowing. Once Ben seems satisfied with the temperature, he turns on the shower and steps back. I flip the lid down on the toilet and peel off my stinky knee socks. “I can keep you company, if you want.”

 

“While I’m in the shower?” I ask, giggling. He smiles and nods. “Ok, I guess. Just - don’t look or anything, til I’m in there.”

 

Ben spins and leans against the door frame with his back to me. It’s strange, but maybe he likes being around me as much as I like to be around him. It’s kind of cute, even if my whole body blushes as I quickly strip out of my uniform and climb under the spray. “Ok!” I say loudly. I hear him picking up my clothes and sitting on the lid of the toilet.

 

“Anyone give you grief about me giving you a ride?” Ben asks over the spray. I tip my head back, letting the good pressure massage my scalp. It’s infinitely better than at Plutt’s. 

 

“A little,” I respond honestly. “But I told them what you told me to say - about what would you want with me when there’s prettier girls around.” I find his shampoo and squeeze out a dollop, working it into my mousy-brown locks, scrubbing the dirt and grease out. 

 

“You know it’s bullshit, right?” Ben asks, and I smile to myself. “You are the most gorgeous, intelligent, best girl on the team. In the whole school, even,” Ben says. My heart could burst from happiness at his words. It’s hard to believe, but I want to so much. I want to believe that he does think I’m all of those things and more. To like me the best. 

 

“Shut up,” I mumble without meaning it.

 

“It’s true, Rey. You mean so much to me - I really have loved getting to know you better.” He sounds sincere. Not being able to see him, the curtain a murky divider between us, makes me feel brave.

 

“Me too, Ben. More than you know.” I finish washing with his soap, Old Spice, realizing that I’m going to smell like him now. Warmth blooms low in my belly as I grin, feeling silly. I turn the water off and reach blindly for a towel. Ben hands me one. I quickly wrap it around me, thick and fluffy, before pulling the shower curtain back so we’re face to face again.

 

Ben is standing much closer than I expected. I blink at him owlishly in surprise. My hair drips down my shoulders and I shiver at the look in his dark eyes.

 

“Can I kiss you, Rey?” Ben asks, and the world tilts on its axis as he ducks down, pressing a chaste, dry kiss on my chapped lips. My heart threatens to pound out of my chest and my eyelids flutter shut. I’m taken by surprise and so confused as his lips touch mine.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slumber parties with your soccer coach - totally normal, no red flags.

I jerk back quickly and blush to the roots of my hair. I can’t believe he kissed me. I stare up at Ben in shock, eyes wide and round as saucers. 

 

“I’m sorry - Rey, please don’t be upset,” Ben says quickly, heavy palms on my bare shoulders. Goosebumps skitter up my arms and I blink. “I thought - I thought you felt it too.” He sounds so disappointed that my stomach aches.

 

“Felt what?” I whisper weakly. My heart is pounding and my mouth tingles from the contact with his.

 

“What’s happening... between us,” Ben says. He bites his full bottom lip and shuts his eyes with a sigh. “I have feelings for you, Rey. Don’t you know?”

 

How am I supposed to know? No boy has ever shown interest in me before and I never expected, not in a million years, that Ben could possibly like me like _this._ I’m a nobody, a plain, boring high school junior, with no friends and no family. I’m not used to someone liking me, or caring for me. My belly knots in anxious ropes and I shift nervously.

 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know,” I respond in a small voice, timid and disbelieving.

 

“Don’t you like me, Rey?” Ben asks in a heart wrenching voice. Like he’ll be so sad if I don’t.

 

“Of course I like you,” I say. My heart skips a beat at the big smile that spreads slowly over his handsome face like a sunrise. “It just seems so... so strange that you would like _me_.” 

 

“Rey, you don’t see yourself properly,” Ben says. He leans closer and for a moment I think he’s going to kiss me again, but instead he goes for my forehead. It’s a tender gesture and it feels so nice. Protective. I melt under his hands and grin up at him. “Why don’t you get dressed? We can put on a movie, have some dinner.”

 

I nod eagerly and Ben turns to my bag on the sink, unzipping it and digging through. He comes up with a T-shirt and a pair of panties that he hands to me with a grin. “I’ll get you something to drink, sweetheart.” 

 

I nod and once he’s out of sight, I scramble into my green and orange Resistance Soccer T-shirt and the plain pink bikini style underwear he picked out. It’s kind of - oh, I don’t know, lacking pants? But I want to make him happy and he _did_ pick them, so... Bare-legged, I pad into the dim living room where he perched on the arm of the sofa with a beer in hand.

 

“You have gorgeous legs, must be all that soccer.” Ben grins and hands me the bottle. I giggle nervously, taking it by the neck. I’ve never drank before - Ben knows this, we’ve discussed it at length over texting, about how dangerous it is to go to parties and how boys will try to get me drunk and take advantage of me - and I scrunch my nose up as I lift the bottle to my lips. I take a tiny sip. It tastes weird and skunky and I swallow it quickly with a grimace.

 

“How can you drink that?” I wonder with a grossed-out face.

 

“You’ll get used to it. Heineken is an acquired taste.” Ben chuckles and pulls me down to sit beside him on the couch. “Do you want to stay over? Do you think your _guardian_ would care?” He rolls his eyes at the word and I shrug.

 

“I can say that I stayed with the team at someone’s house? If he asks,” I add. Ben nods and pecks my cheek before standing up and heading into the kitchen. I try another sip of beer but it’s really, honestly disgusting. I gag and cover it in a cough. I pick up the remote and start flipping through the shows and movies, pulling my knees up to my chest and trying to be small and take up as little space as possible. When Ben comes back, he has his own beer and he flops down beside me.

 

“What’s for dinner?” I ask as he scoots close to me. One big hand cuffs around my ankle.

 

“Burgers ok?” I nod. Sounds delicious, actually. “We gotta fatten you up, kiddo. Make sure you’re healthy, huh?”

 

“Okay. But not too fat,” I say with a silly grin.

 

“Of course.” Ben leans close and lays his head on my shoulder. His soft hair tickles my cheek and I grin. It feels really nice, cuddling with someone. I’ve never had it before. “Let’s try this one,” he says, choosing a movie called Sleeping Beauty. I recognize the actress from the first Series of Unfortunate Events movie, and settle in as Ben flies back and forth between the couch and the kitchen.

 

It’s a weird movie. She’s some kind of prostitute, I think, only she is asleep the whole time she’s with a customer so she doesn’t know what they do with her. It gives me the creeps but Ben is really into it, making comments about how soft she looks in a lace nightgown and how sweet _I_ probably look when I’m asleep. I blush and turn my face into my shoulder, bashful. He says some strange things, sometimes.

 

We eat our burgers and finish the movie. It’s getting late. I yawn and feel my eyes growing heavy. 

 

“You had a long day, Rey. Let’s get you to bed.” Ben lifts me easily in his arms like I’m a rag doll. My head lolls against his shoulder and Ben kisses my temple before tugging back the quilt and placing me gently in his bed. I curl up and inhale his scent off the pillow and feel the bed shift as he climbs in beside me. Strong arms tug me back against his chest. He feels so warm and solid. I’ve never slept with anyone before, not that I can remember. I sigh happily as he nuzzles the back of my neck, lips soft and ghosting over my skin. 

 

“I’m so happy you’re here, Rey. I’m never going to let you go.” His words are barely audible as he clings to me, our bodies fitting together like puzzle pieces. I feel myself drifting and relaxing against him, content, belly full. 

 

For the first time, perhaps ever, I fall asleep smiling.

 

——

 

The next morning Ben wakes up before me, bringing me eggs and sausage and toast in bed. He’s chipper and handsome with his hair tied back. He sits beside me and we laugh about how much longer his legs are, his feet huge in comparison to mine. He feeds me bites and sighs when I finish.

 

“I should get you home.” He sounds reluctant, like he really doesn’t want to, and my heart swells. It makes me feel important, wanted. Like he really likes me as much as he says.

 

“I have homework,” I mumble, agreeing. 

 

Neither of us are happy to part ways. I can’t help but feel like it’ll be good, he can’t get sick of me, get bored of me, if we spend time apart. It’ll take him longer to realize how lame and dumb and young I am. 

 

I get dressed, still humming with happy energy about yesterday. I pull on jeans and my hoodie and Ben grins, tugging me by the belt loops right up against his muscular chest. Big hands splay over my back as my stomach flutters with butterflies. Will he kiss me again? What if I’m terrible at it? I lick my lips nervous while Ben sways is slightly.

 

“I’m really happy you stayed the night, baby.” Ben kisses my forehead, then my nose. I stand on tip toe so he doesn’t have to stoop down so low. “I loved holding you all night long.”

 

“I loved being held,” I admit sheepishly.

 

Carefully, slowly, he bends down to press our mouths together. His lips are incredibly soft as they brush against mine. My hands find purchase in his T-shirt, fisting the material to keep my balance as my head gets light. The foreign sensation - _Ben_ kissing me - makes time stand still. I’m ready for it this time, and it fills me up with undeniable, incomparable warmth and light. I could kiss him all day. 

 

When Ben pulls back, I can’t keep from smiling. It feels better than scoring the winning goal. Out of all the women in the world, he wants to kiss me. It feels unreal.

 

“You’re perfect, Rey.” I blush and duck my head, too shy to meet his eyes. Ben tugs me to the car and takes me home, holding my hand the whole way.


	5. Chapter 5

I’m antsy all day at school. I have this ginormous secret, and part of me wants to scream it from the rooftops. Coach kissed me, Coach likes _me_. But no one would believe me, and if people found out then it would be over before it begins. And I don’t want it to be over, not ever.

 

I sit with Rose at lunch and she talks about the party after the game. Her sister Paige is a senior and they usually go together, which leads to Rose being awkward and bored while her social butterfly sister gets drunk and hit on. Paige is gorgeous, glossy dark hair and a perfect smile. Rose acts annoyed but I know she’s there to protect her sister too. We don’t fit in with the cool girls or the rest of our teammates, so we kind of fell into this friendship out of necessity.

 

“How was your weekend?” Rose asks as she pops a chip into her mouth.

 

“Boring. Homework,” I reply with a shrug. Inside, I’m dying to tell her the truth. But I can’t, no matter how much I want to. Something tells me that Rose would understand the least. 

 

“Paige says you don’t want to peak in high school anyway.” She grind sympathetically as our gaze is drawn to the middle table in the cafeteria where the “cool kids” congregate. They’re loud and obnoxious - Kaydel perches on Poe’s lap, freshmen make out forgiven and forgotten. We both roll our eyes.

 

“College will be our time to shine. Imagine it Rey: parties with boys that actually have interests outside of boobs and varsity football.” Rose sighs wistfully and I giggle. I wonder if Ben and I will be able to have a public relationship once I go to college. If he’ll still like me then.

 

As if my thoughts conjure him, my phone buzzes in my pocket. I slide it out and feel Rose’s surprise from beside me. 

 

“When did you get a phone?” she gasps. 

 

“Oh I - I saved up. You know, mowed lawns and stuff,” I add. I hope it’s believable but Rose is more interested in getting my number so we can text. I sigh with relief and check my messages.

 

**Ben**   
_wear your shortest shorts to practice today, babe. I wanna see your legs ;)_

 

Instantly I flush and try to hide my smile with a big bite of meatloaf so Rose won’t notice. Fortunately, I had packed a pair of spandex shorts left over from my volleyball days, so Ben would like them. I send back a row of smiley faces.

 

At practice, I can barely stand still through our stretches. Ben looks as handsome as ever, in track pants and a matching jacket, hair trapped under a beanie. He doesn’t even look at me when he assigns positions for our scrimmage, just tossing a mesh vest at me like the other girls.

 

I have to remind myself that he can’t treat me special. Especially after giving me a ride to the game. But my heart still plummets when I see him squeeze Jess’s shoulders after she blocks my kick, or how he high fives Rose after a good steal. He’s acting like I don’t even exist!

 

“Come on Rey, _focus_ ,” he shouts when Kaydel and I get tangled up together and fall. I push myself up and swipe the grass from my bottom. I wore the stupid shorts he wanted, why can’t he be nice?

 

“All right guys, do some cool down. Good practice,” Ben says. My body is sore from falling and pushing myself hard. We slump into a circle and stretch out, and Pava shoots me a grin.

 

“Looks like Coach has a new favorite,” she says, and I resist the urge to roll my eyes. I keep chanting in my head - _Ben kissed me, Ben bought me a phone, Ben likes **me**_ \- but it doesn’t help. I won’t let them see me upset, I won’t let them think there’s anything wrong.

 

“Lucky you,” I reply with a sigh. 

 

“Maybe he can start giving you rides home,” Kaydel says, bumping her shoulder. “And poor little Rey will have to walk again.”

 

“Quit guys,” Rose, ever the peacemaker, says with a scowl. “Coach is probably like, dating a super hot girl that can actually hold her liquor. Unlike either of you.” 

 

Jess sticks her tongue out. We all finish up and the rest of the girls head to their cars or their parents’ cars while I gather my stuff by the bleachers. Ben and I walk to his car again, and I can barely pay attention to his lecture. He’s talking about how I need to not let the other girls get in my head on the field, just focus on the ball and the members of my team. I sigh and flop into the front seat, thoroughly disappointed. All day I thought about seeing him, and he’s treating me like I’m a useless child. 

 

I fasten my seatbelt and glower at the dashboard. He’ll probably drop me at Plutt’s and ask to take my phone back. The thought makes my heart seize up in my chest.

 

“I know it seems like I’m being hard on you,” Ben says once he starts the car. He pretends to adjust the mirrors and waves at Mrs Tico as she picks Rose up. “But I think I’ve been too nice. The other girls think I treat you special. I don’t want to make anyone suspicious.”

 

“So being a dick to _only me_ is your solution?” I hate the way my voice sounds thick, how unshed tears swim in my vision.

 

“Rey, I’m sorry.” Ben pulls into the main road and squeezes my knee. I even shaved my legs for him, all the way up my thigh. I want to jerk out of his reach but it feels really nice. I like having him touch me. “I’ll try to spread it out, okay? I just don’t want to look like I’m treating you any different. I don’t want anyone to get any ideas... I don’t want to lose you.”

 

His tone and toffee eyes make me melt in my soft leather seat. When he says it like that, I’m helpless to not fall a little bit more. “I thought you were done with me,” I admit in a tiny voice. 

 

“Never Rey. I promise.” Ben’s thumb strokes up my thigh in large sweeps, sending tingles up towards my center. I bite my lip and look away, blushing. How he can be so sweet at times, after making me feel like total crap, is completely beyond me. 

 

We get to his house and fall into our routine. I slip off my cleats and collapse onto the couch. Ben peels my socks off and tosses them at my duffle bag. I pretend to do homework while he pretends to look at his mail and figure out what to make for dinner. It’s so domestic and cozy, having Ben cook and me doing homework. Like we’re a family. Like he’s my dad, except... I don’t think it’s natural to feel this way about you dad. Or your daughter.

 

We eat in front of the television and watch Parks and Rec or the Office. Ben loves that I’ll eat anything he makes - even Kraft macaroni and cheese with hot dogs. After, we cuddle for a bit and that’s my favorite part. I really like being close to Ben, feeling his arm around me, playing with my hair. Tonight, he cups my chin and tilts my head back to kiss me. It’s much deeper than before, his soft lips and tongue so warm and gentle. I go weak with how good it feels, until I notice one of his big hands creeping up my rib cage. He strokes the bottom of my breast through my sports bra, and I shiver, breaking away.

 

“Ben,” I say breathlessly.

 

“Rey,” he replies with a grin. “Let me touch you, baby. I’ve been thinking of you all day.”

 

I blush and look away. My nipples are pebbles up and his thumb brushes over one, making me gasp. It feels weird but good, and I let him feel me up a little bit before I’m squeezing my thighs together.

 

“Does it make you feel tingly, down there?” Ben whispers, dipping down to kiss my neck. I nod frantically. “Do you like it?”

 

“I - I’m not sure,” I answer, squirming. Ben sighs and pulls back to study me.

 

“Maybe you’re too young,” he says slowly, raking a hand through his dark curls. “I thought you could handle this but maybe you aren’t ready.”

 

My stomach drops. Does that mean he wants to stop seeing me? That’s the last thing I want, so I grab his hand and crawl into his lap, bringing it back to my breast.

 

“It’s just different,” I rush to say, and he smiles. “I do like it, Ben. I promise.”

 

“That’s my good girl,” Ben croons, kneading me softly through the material of my clothes. “You’ll be a good girl for Daddy, won’t you?”

 

I’m not sure what he means but if it’s what he needs to hear to keep going, keep making me feel special, I’ll do it. I’ll do whatever he wants to keep his attention, I think as I wiggle in his lap against the new, alien sensations he’s giving me. I feel hot between my legs and Ben chuckles, kissing my nose.

 

“You’re perfect, baby girl. I’m so happy to be with you.” 

 

He rains down kisses and sweet words and I lose myself in all of it, soaking up everything he gives me, desperately wanting even more.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben has a crazy idea but maybe it’s just crazy good?
> 
>  
> 
> Also, I shamelessly stole the hidden camera idea from diathlu’s [fic Jeune Fille](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17013897/chapters/39998361) which you should definitely go read after this!

“I have a present for you,” Ben says once we get into the car after practice, later that week. I blush and smile, excitement bubbling in my stomach. No one has ever given me presents like Ben - randomly, for no reason at all. I hadn’t gotten presents from Santa very consistently as a child, and never on my birthdays. Getting things from Ben out of the blue makes me feel noticed and wanted. 

 

“You don’t have to get me presents,” I say. I duck my head so he can’t see my pleased yet embarrassed smile. I don’t want him to think I’m greedy or something.

 

I’m getting used to him treating me differently during practice. He’s a bit harder on me than everyone else, but Ben says that’s because he can see my true potential, and I’m not meeting it. I don’t take it as seriously as he does; Ben thinks I could have a career playing, but I tell him that I’d rather be a teacher or an engineer. 

 

“You’re throwing away your god-given talent, Rey,” Ben had told me last night when we discussed it over chicken Alfredo. “I can see it in you, baby. Don’t you think I know what I’m talking about?”

 

“Yeah, but,” I protest, swirling noodles around my fork, “I’m not passionate about it. I like to play, but it’s not _everything_ to me.” I don’t want him to be upset with me - and the disappointed look that flashes over his features, so quickly I almost missed it, speaks volumes. But I don’t want to _lie_ to him. 

 

After dinner, we made out on the couch until it was time for Ben to drive me home. Then we texted until I finally fell asleep, phone still in my hands. 

 

He’s the first thing I think of in the morning and the last thing I think about at night. According to all the love songs, that must mean something, right? 

 

“I like getting things for you,” Ben says. We pull in to his driveway and he cuts the engine, then leans across the middle console to give me a kiss. It’s lingering, like he doesn’t want to pull away, and my stomach clenches in anticipation. Lately, it seems like Ben wants to go further and further. I’ve never really considered my virginity before - at least, not in the sense of giving it to anyone. No one before Ben seemed interested.

 

“C’mon,” he says with a smirk as I blink at him, distracted by those insanely soft lips and his skilled tongue. 

 

I toe off my cleats and grab out my English work book, slipping into my seat at the kitchen table. Ben opens a beer and peers over my shoulder before turning to the stove. He sets the preheat and then turns to me.

 

“D you ever think about moving out of Plutt’s?” He eyes me, watching for reaction, as I glance up from my homework. 

 

“Like, when I turn eighteen?” I ask, frowning.

 

“Before then. He’s a pretty shitty guardian. There could be better homes for you.” Ben crosses his thick arms over his broad chest. I shift uncomfortably in my seat - why is he asking this?

 

“I mean, I have a pretty ideal set up, now.” If I get moved, it could be with a family in a different school district, or someone strict that would want to know my whereabouts at all times. I wouldn’t be free to come and go as I pleased, I might not be able to see Ben at all. “I’ll be eighteen in a year and a half... it seems easier to just wait it out.”

 

“What if you could live with me?” Ben asks, sidling over to sit beside me at the table. One of his big hands tangles with mine. “I applied to be a foster parent when you first joined the team, Rey. I knew I had to rescue you from that situation before I fell in love with you. But now, now that I _am_ in love with you, I think you should move on. With me. I’ve looked everything up, it would be a quick process. What do you think?”

 

I gale at him in shock. Ben wants to be my foster dad? He’s in love with me? I don’t know which to address first so I blink and shake my head.

 

“It’ll be the perfect cover, Rey. Your teammates will think I’m your dad, and to the community it would be acceptable for us to be close. No one would know what’s going on behind closed doors.” He leans forward and smooches my forehead. “I want so badly to take care of you, honey. Give you everything you’ve ever dreamed of and more.”

 

My stomach flips anxiously. I can’t imagine living with Ben, even though I’m here all the time. What he says makes sense but at the same time, it doesn’t. Would the misdirection really fool people? Could he be my dad _and_ my boyfriend?

 

“It sounds too good to be true,” I murmur, and Ben chuckles.

 

“You deserve good things, Rey. I know it makes you uncomfortable. You think you don’t deserve it. But you do,” he says. His deep eyes stare into mine, dark and unfathomable. He seems to sense my unease as he let’s up. “It’s something to consider, babe. Now, what should I make for dinner?”

 

——

 

After we eat, Ben pulls me on top of him on the couch. We’re kissing. I love the sound of our wet clips moving together, soft sounds that make me feel warm between my legs. I love kissing Ben, and I like when he touches my chest now. My nipples pucker up into right zpeaks, and delicious tingles resonate through me when Ben strokes and plucks at them.

 

“Does it tingle here?” Ben asks. He cups one hand over my crotch, through my loose soccer shorts and panties, but the pressure there only adds to what I’m feeling. I bite my lip and nod feverishly. He grins and rubs me through my clothes - it makes me feel wild. Ben slips a hand under my shirt, rubbing my belly before sweeping higher. His fingers nudge under the band of my sports bra to cup my breast. It’s not much but fits perfectly into the calm of his big hand, making me gasp.

 

I’ve never felt like this before. Everything feels so good, and I know that I love him. He’s said that he loves me. So why does guilt gnaw at me, a tiny voice in the back of my head, that this isn’t right?

 

“I want to make you cum,” Ben pants. His breath is warm against my neck. “Gonna keep rubbing you right here until it feels so good you beg me to stop.”

 

I whimper as he presses down between my legs. There’s a spot there that shoots thrills up my spine, makes the warm feelings spread and intensify. It’s like something tightens, low and hot in my belly. Each breath, the way he keeps rubbing that spot, brings me closer and closer to something. I don’t know what’s coming but I moan softly as I get closer and closer.

 

“Gonna make you feel so good, Rey,” Ben groans. He rubs against my hip, and I feel something hard grinding against me. The word _erection_ comes to mind, some remnant of health class from freshmen year. It strikes me that he’s as aroused as I am, and that’s all it takes to push me over the edge.

 

Tingles and shivers erupt down my spine as my body clenches. It feels so good - better than anything I’ve ever felt before - and I can’t keep quiet as my toes curl in my socks and my hips roll against Ben’s hand. I hear him answering my groans of pleasure.

 

“So perfect, baby. You make Daddy so happy.” He kisses my temple and I sigh, contented, as my body comes down from the high. I curl into his side, letting him rut against me and grunt. He squeezes my breast hard before he goes still, sweat beading his forehead, eyes fluttering shut.

 

It takes him a few moments to gather himself before he gets up and disappears into his room. He returns quickly in sweats with a big stuffed llama in his hands.

 

“I saw this and thought of you,” he says, pushing it into my arms. The fur is the softest thing I’ve ever felt, and I bury my face in it. There’s something hard inside, like it’s supposed to make noise. I feel around for a button but don’t find any. “Something for you to cuddle when I can’t be there.”

 

“Thank you, Ben!” I exclaim, throwing my arms around him in a big hug. “I love it.”

 

“Good, baby. I’m glad.”

 

Shortly after, Ben drives me home. Plutt grunts in greeting when I let myself in. I jog up to my room, llama tucked under my arm, and kick a pile of clothes out of my way as I shut the door. I’ve fallen behind on my chores, Ben taking up so much of my free time. I set the llama on my bed and start to change into my pajamas.

 

I can’t shake the feeling the it’s watching me, which is silly. It’s a stuffed animal. Even so, I carefully move it to the nightstand as I slide between the covers after shutting off the light.

 

“Night, Llama-Ben,” I murmur. Sleep comes easily.


	7. Chapter 7

I’m over at Ben’s the next Saturday night for another sleepover. Rose is texting me - she went out to a party with her sister, and all of our teammates are celebrating our victory from earlier in the day. Ben insisted I ride the bus, citing his worry that I’m not bonding with my teammates as I should be. It’s true, though I wasn’t really bonding with them before he and I started seeing each other, either.

 

We order take out Chinese and lounge on the couch. I played super hard, scoring two of our six goals, and Ben has been raining compliments on me all evening. It’s nice but also embarrassing. I don’t know how I’m supposed to react - embarrassed, happy, nonchalant? After I take a shower, with Ben keeping me company again, he pulls my feet into his lap and starts to massage them.

 

Fingers dig into the point beside the ball and the little delicate bones of my tones and it feels so good. I sigh and let my head loll back, ignoring Rose’s texts for a bit.

 

“You have to take good care of your body, sweetheart,” Ben murmurs, low and hypnotizing from the opposite end of the couch. I nod. “Not just what goes in. But you get so much pent up energy from other things, too.”

 

“Like what?” I ask dreamily.

 

“Sexual frustration. You have to make sure you cum every day for your body to work properly.” He kisses my big toe and I giggle. This sounds like something he made up, but I don’t argue. Ben’s got sixteen years on me, he obviously knows way more than I do. Maybe it’s the secret to professional athletes - therapeutic orgasms. “Do you masturbate, Rey?”

 

I blush and shake my head. I’ve tried - especially after Ben brought me to orgasm earlier this week - to mimic that feeling by rubbing between my legs. All it does is frustrate me. No matter how long I do it. I think it’s sort of like tickling yourself - easy for someone else to do, but impossible to do to yourself. You can kind of do it, dragging the tips of your fingers up your rib cage... but it doesn’t have quite the same effect.

 

“You should. It’ll help clear your mind, kind of like meditation.” His dark eyes are like a physical caress as he brings them up my strong legs, to my panties. My legs are open, one bent at the knee with my foot braced in his big hands. “Do you want me to help you?”

 

I’d like him to keep rubbing my feet, but I nod because I sense that he wants me to. I want so much to please him, to make him happy with me. That way, he won’t leave. Like other people in my life have.

 

“Put your hands in your panties,” Ben instructs. I slowly do, lifting my hips and resting my fingers right under the elastic. “Better yet, take them off.” He smiles, reassuring, and I push them down my hips. I’ve never been bare like this with him before. My whole body seems to blush fiercely. 

 

“Is this ok?” I ask nervously. My stomach feels like it’s twisting inside out as he stares at my center. I have sift curls down there. I know some girls shave bare - will Ben want me to? I just want him to like every part of me, desperately. 

 

“You’re perfect, babygirl.” He kneads my foot as he gazes at me. I’m warming up, skin growing hot under his dark, impenetrable stare. “Show me how you touch yourself, Rey.”

 

I swallow thickly and reach my right hand lower. I drag my index finger between my lower lips, feeling the slick, silky skin. I push against the little nub at the top. It feels more intense with him here, watching. My breathing hitched while I circle the spot, it’s almost too sensitive to touch directly.

 

“Do you put fingers inside?” Ben asks, and I shake my head no. My wet hair hangs over the arm of the sofa. Ben switches to the other foot, leaving the first bent and open, making the other mirror that position.

 

“Do it for Daddy,” he says quickly. “Just one finger inside, good girl.” I use my other hand to carry out the request. It’s wet and snug around my finger, sunk up to the second knuckle while I rub around that bundle of nerves. I feel my nipples harden against Ben’s baggy T-shirt, the rasp of cotton on my over sensitive skin sensational. Everything feels better with Ben. I moan softly and swipe over the nub. It makes the muscles in my legs jump, and he takes a shaky breath.

 

“Does it feel tingly down there, Princess?” Ben asks as he presses thumbs into my arch. 

 

“Yes,” I whimper. I feel like I’m getting closer and closer, climbing towards my peak. I roll my hips against my hands and moan softly.

 

“That’s it sweetie, let Daddy hear you.” He presses his hips up and I feel him, hard and tenting the front of his sweats, rubbing against my foot. It seems he’s just as turned on as me. “You look good enough to eat, little girl.”

 

I toss my head back and let my legs drop wider open. I push my finger in and out, trying to set a rhythm that works with how I’m running the nub. Ben grunts as I begin to shake everywhere. My body feels alive with electricity, currents running through my veins as I gasp for air. I finally cum, and the wall of pleasure I smack into makes me yelp in surprise as I jerk in reaction. My pussy clamps down around my finger, fluttering like a heartbeat, and I wonder what it would feel like around Ben’s fingers, so much bigger than mine.

 

“You’re so hot,” Ben grits out. He rubs himself through his pants and grunts a few times, eyes fluttering shut only to snap open as I withdraw my index finger. He catches my wrist, dropping my foot, and leans forward to swipe his tongue over the leftover arousal coating my digit. He groans in delight, like it’s the best thing he’s ever tasted, and sucks my finger into his mouth. His tongue laps at me and his cheeks hollow against my skin as he sucks. Ben whined, long and almost in pain, and then jerks against me.

 

I think he just came. Which is sort of hot, and sort of gross. He grins at me, face flushed. “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me, baby girl.” He leans across me legs to kiss me, and I like this more than anything else.

 

——

 

Sunday afternoon, I’m home at Plutt’s doing laundry in the ancient machine in the basement when there’s a knock on the door. I glance up as I hear lumbering footsteps, the door swing open. Disembodied voices, I can’t make out their words. The door shutting and two sets of footsteps. 

 

“Rey! Get up here!” Plutt calls down the rickety old stairway. Grumbling internally, I jog up the steps. A tall blonde woman - tall and blonde are understatements, as the woman is at least Ben’s height in red pumps and her hair is platinum - stands just inside the doorway, eyeing the mess in the living room.

 

“Hi, Rey. I’m Phasma. I’m here to do a home check for Children’s Services.” Her smile to me is warm, but when her eyes drift to Plutt it hardens. “Why don’t you show me your bedroom? I have a few questions for you.”

 

“Ok,” I agree, feeling strange and like I don’t have a choice. I text Ben as I lead Phasma upstairs. 

 

**Rey**   
_children’s services are here - freaking out - what if they take me away from you?_

 

His response is immediate and makes the rapid beating of my heart slow.

 

**Ben**   
_no one can take you away from me, Rey. Just be a good girl and answer honestly. Everything will be ok. :)_

 

My room is neater today since I took time to clean, but it’s still sparse and tiny. Phasma settles across from me on my twin bed, stripped of sheets as they’re down in the wash.

 

“Laundry,” I say, gesturing to the bed. “I wasn’t expecting to entertain.”

 

Phasma grins at me. “Do you like your placement, Rey? You can tell me anything,” she adds. “It’ll be strictly confidential. Plutt will never find out.”

 

I nod. I’ve heard that before. “I really like my school, I have friends for the first time ever. I don’t mind sticking it out here, even though it’s maybe not ideal.” I don’t want to leave Ben or my team, and the worry makes me feel weak.

 

Phasma nods. “There’s someone in this district that is ready for a placement. I think - judging from the state of this house - it might be better for you. I’ll check the kitchen as well, but I think you’ll be moved. I think today.”

 

I know she’ll find bare cupboards and dishes piled in the sink, the cockroaches crawling up through the drain. “Should I pack my things?” I ask in a small voice.

 

“Definitely. I’m so sorry this situation got so bad, Rey, someone should’ve been checking on you months ago. You must be a pretty tough girl to survive here.” A warm hand on her shoulder, another pitying smile. “Come down when you’re ready. I’ll notify you’re new placement.”

 

I start cramming my clothes and books into my soccer duffle, trying not to panic, as Phasma leaves me. I hate moving, learning new rules. Plutt’s sucked but it’s better the devil you know than the one you don’t.

 

Once I’m back downstairs with my bags packed, Plutt is drinking on the sofa and ignores us. Phasma ushers me out to her car, and I buckle my belt while she turns the ignition.

 

“I think you’ll like this new placement,” she says cheerfully. “It’s a bit unusual but I think much better.”

 

I nod, watching the city scroll by my window. I recognize the neighborhood she pulls into, the streets so familiar that all of the hair on my arms stands at attention. She pulls into the narrow driveway and Ben is standing on his front porch, grinning, waiting.


	8. Chapter 8

Phasma leads the way inside through Ben’s front door, which strikes me as strange. In all the time I’ve been coming over I’ve never gone through the front, only the back. Ben is grinning, showing his slightly crooked front teeth, and seems to be vibrating with excitement. I hug my llama closer to my side, nervous.

 

I don’t know why but a feeling of dread settles in my stomach. Phasma has a look around Ben’s house to make sure everything is in order - running water, food in the fridge and cabinets, heat. She opens a door to a room I thought was probably a spare bedroom or an office and I follow behind, gasping when I look inside.

 

“I went a little overboard. I was excited,” Ben explains. His big hands rest on my shoulders, warm and heavy, and I step inside out of his grasp.

 

It’s kind of like a Disney Princess threw up in here. The walls are cupcake pink, a white framed canopy bed with rosettes painted along the side. There’s a matching vanity table and dresser. It’s almost... like a _little girl’s_ room, not meant for a teenager. I swing my gaze to Phasma, whose red-lipstick mouth is stretched in a smile. If she thinks it’s strange, she gives no indication.

 

“What do you think?” Ben asks, bouncing eagerly. “The dresser is full of new clothes, too. I thought your old stuff was looking kind of ragged.”

 

“How thoughtful,” Phasma croons. “Rey, you’re a very lucky girl. Most kids don’t get this kind of treatment at new placements.”

 

 _Onviously_ , I think. This isn’t my first rodeo. I force myself to smile and nod despite how strangely uncomfortable I feel. After signing some papers and promising to drop by to check in on us in a couple weeks, Phasma leaves.

 

It’s just Ben and I. 

 

“I know it’s sudden - but Rey, I couldn’t let you live with that horrible man anymore.” Ben sweeps me into a big hug, arms winding around me tightly. “I kept imagining him _doing_ something awful. In one of his drunken states.” 

 

I blink, cheek pressed against his T-shirt. How did he know about Plutt’s drinking? I must have mentioned it, but I just don’t remember talking much about the situation. But I must have, since Ben knows about it. 

 

“This way, we can be together always. All the time,” he says, pulling back to smile at me. “Isn’t it wonderful?”

 

I swallow my doubt down like a bitter pill. “Yes, of course,” I agree. This is Ben, after all. He loves me - he wants to protect me and take care of me. I trust him. Of course I trust him, because I love him. It’s just the quickness of moving, how prepared he is, that throws me off. That has to be it.

 

“Let’s get you some lunch, Princess. I’m sure you’re hungry.” Ben tugs me by the hand into the kitchen after I drop my bag and place my llama on the bed.

 

All new placements are awkward, I have to remind myself. Probably worse when the foster parent is your boyfriend.

 

——

 

We spend the day watching Netflix and vegging out on the couch. I don’t have any homework and Sundays are the only day we don’t have practice. It’s nice to be lazy and I eventually finally relax enough to doze off on the couch. 

 

When I wake up, Ben is stroking my nipples through my shirt, and a heavy heat pools between my thighs. I jerk up in surprise, and he chuckles.

 

“Daddy wants to play, honey,” Ben says in a husky voice. 

 

“Isn’t it kind of weird now, since you’re like, my _foster dad_ now, to call yourself daddy?” I ask as Ben tugs my shirt up. I obediently lift my arms, leaving my naked from the waist up. Ben licks his lips as he drinks in the sight of me.

 

“I think that makes it better,” he says. “It makes it kind of hot, right?”

 

I shrug. I’m not sure I think it’s that hot, but Ben certainly does. I can see his erection straining against his grey sweats.

 

“Because now I’m really your daddy, in all ways,” Ben says. He dips down and his pouty lips latch onto my nipple, sucking it and flicking his tongue over the hardened peak. It feels _really_ good - I exhale shakily and thread my fingers through his thick, silky curls. He switches between breasts and nibbles and suckles until I know my panties are drenched and I’m practically grinding against his leg.

 

“Lets go break in your new bed,” Ben says, drawing back. I want to keep going, so I nod. I want him to make me orgasm again, and he’s gotten me so worked up. He chases me back to my room and I flop onto the soft lavender bedspread with a giggle.

 

“You like your room, don’t you, Rey?” Ben asks as he stands between my spread knees. He grabs my hips, tugging down my loose soccer shorts and panties. He tosses them over his shoulder when I nod. “I couldn’t help myself. Perfect princess room for my perfect princess girl.”

 

I blush - I love hearing him call me his girl. It makes warmth spread through me, from head to toe. Ben leans forward and kisses me, soft but probing, before moving down my neck and chest. His tongue flicks over one pink nipple before he nips down my belly, sinking to his knees and tossing my legs over his shoulders.

 

“Daddy is gonna kiss you here, honey,” Ben says, tracing a finger down my slit. My face goes hot and pink with embarrassment. He spreads the lips open and leans forward to lick a hot stripe from my entrance to my clit. I gasp and my body jolts in surprise. “Relax baby. Daddy is gonna take care of his little girl.” 

 

Then he starts licking in earnest, swirling around the bundle of nerves and then down to plunge inside of me. The noises I make are humiliating but I can’t help it - my legs quiver and twitch around his ears. It doesn’t take very long before I’m cresting over that peak, waves washing over me as my inner muscles flutter around his tongue.

 

“Perfect, Rey,” Ben groans. He stands up and rubs his erection through his sweats. 

 

“Can I - can I help you?” I ask nervously. I’m not sure I actually want to, but it feels like I should. He’s made me cum so many times and I’ve never returned the favor. That’s wrong of me, right? 

 

“Just lay there,” Ben tells me. “I want you to watch.” I prop myself onto my elbows and nod. I can watch. Maybe it’ll help me feel more comfortable with actually touching him.

 

He draws himself out of his pants and I feel my eyes go wide. He strokes from base to tip, twisting a little around the head. How will that fit inside me? Ben groans softly as his gaze wanders over my body. “You’re all mine now, baby. Daddy is gonna give you everything you need.” I whimper at his intensity. It doesn’t take very long before he’s cumming, hot spurts that splash over my belly. It’s kind of gross but he takes off his shirt to mop it up.

 

“You’re so special to me, Rey. You’re nothing to everyone else,” he says, and pain lances through my chest. I know it’s true. “But to me you are everything.”

 

The words should comfort me as his big body drapes over mine, skin to skin. Instead, that dread from earlier creeps up my spine.


	9. Chapter 9

I wake up to the soft kisses trailing down my throat. I’m warm and cozy and I don’t want to get up but it feels nice at the same time. I groan and hear Ben chuckle against my skin. For a brief second, I forget about the move and how weird it’s going to be to explain to everyone at school and on the team that I’m living with my coach now. I enjoy the soft sucking of his lips against my chest, the way his teeth scrape as he slides down.

 

“Good morning sweetheart,” he whispers. My stomach twists pleasantly as he licks at my nipples. I feel one of his big hands slide down my tummy, then lower, cupping my mound. I whine and arch into his hand. It feels so good when he touches me, it makes me forget about everything. One finger pushes inside of me, and it feels weird, full, for a moment. Then his thumb passes over my clit and my legs twitch. “You’re so responsive Rey. It’s so fucking hot.” 

 

I bite my lip and throw my head back as my hips swivel to get more contact. Ben chuckles and I feel his cock, full and hard, grinding into my hip. I’m so sleepy-warm and turned on, it feels soft and golden in the darkness of the morning. I cry out and thread my fingers through his hair, drawing him closer to my breast to have him suckle there. My nipples are so sensitive, it heightens everything to feel him latch on and roll the little peak over his tongue and teeth. 

 

“Ben,” I pant, climbing higher and closer to my orgasm. His finger inside me strokes slowly in and out until it’s not weird but _good_ and I feel my muscles clenching, trying to draw him in deeper.

 

“Call me Daddy,” Ben says as he fits against my thigh. “C’mon Rey, be my good girl and call me Daddy.”

 

I whimper quietly, but eventually obey. I’m nearly there, body taut with tension and tingly warmth creeping over every inch of me, when I say, “Please Daddy, make me cum,” and it’s only a little awkward.

 

“Fuck - fuck,” Ben curses as he starts to rub my clit more frantically. His breath on my chest is hot and moist and he ruts against my hip, groaning and panting as I finally reach the finish line. I gasp and moan as my body shivers and shakes, fluttering around his finger. Cumming on something feels so good, and absently I think there should be more inside of me as I clamp down rhythmically. Ben grunts and stiffens and I feel warm liquid splash over my belly again, like he’s marking me with his cum. I flop back and sigh in satisfaction.

 

“Such a good girl,” Ben murmurs as he drops kisses on my hair and face. “Daddy loves you so much, Rey. So fucking much.” When he pulls back and our eyes lock, I blush and look away shyly. He’s so intense sometimes I don’t know how to react to it.

 

“Thank you,” I mumble awkwardly.

 

“You should get up and shower, honey. I’ll make some breakfast.” Ben pecks my temple before getting up. I’m left with his jizz on my stomach and try not to feel crossed out as I get up, pad naked through his house to the bathroom off his bedroom.

 

I guess this is the new normal.

 

——

 

Ben packs me a lunch and drives me to school, though it’s not a long walk. My stomach is a mess - I’m nervous to explain to everyone what’s going on. I’m nervous to tell my teammates, especially Rose. Will she fall for it? Or will she be suspicious?

 

“Remember,” Ben says as he pulls in the loop of the driveway, where other parents are dropping off students, “you cat tell anyone about us, Rey. No one would understand how I feel about you. They would think it’s.. wrong.”

 

I nod, chewing my lip. Ben has explained before that older women get jealous when men fall for younger women and would make trouble for us. I give him a tiny smile when he ruffles my hair and hop out. I wish I could kiss him goodbye.

 

“Bye,” I say and Ben grins at me from the driver’s seat.

 

“Have a good day, Princess.” 

 

I turn and skip up to the school, weaving my way through the throng of students to get to my locker. Sometimes, I think the fact that Ben and I have this huge secret is kind of fun and exciting - when it doesn’t make me so anxious and nervous that I feel like my stomach is going to drop out of my body.

 

Rose joins me outside of homeroom and tells me all about the party she went to with her sister. She makes it sound gross, like a big pain in the butt. I remember what I was doing with _Ben_ that night and my face heats up. Luckily our teacher arrives to let us in the room.

 

“Anything interesting happen to you over the weekend?” Rose asks, smiling brightly. Her dark ponytail bobs as she slides into the seat beside mine.

“Um, yeah, actually.” I fiddle with my notebook and gather my courage. Why am I so nervous? “I got a new placement.”

 

“Really? I know you hated Plutt’s, so that’s awesome, right? Unless the new family is like, totally weird too.” She seems so excited for me that guilt knots my intestines.

 

“It’s way better. It’s with Coach,” I say, trying not to let my secret feelings flood my tone. Rose stares at me in shock. “We’ve been talking about it for a while, you know, how much I hated Plutt and how gross it was. That’s why he’s been driving me so much - he was worried something would happen to me.”

 

“Whoa, that’s like... crazy!” Rose exclaims. But she’s grinning, and a weight lifts off my chest, relief. “I was worried that he was like, making a move on you. This is so much better.”

 

I try to cover my shock. Rose _thought_ that? “What would he want with a kid like me?” I try to laugh like the idea is ridiculous. 

 

“I know, I know. He just.. I don’t know, sometimes the way he looks at you, it just... weirded me out.” Rose shrugs it off. “But I’m so glad to hear he just wanted you out of Plutt’s.” 

 

I’m going to have to get after him. I thought we were being so careful, but I guess nothing gets by Rose. Unless you blatantly lie to her face.

 

The rest of the day passes by quickly. We have a pop quiz in history but I’m prepared, and we all witness another Kaydel/Poe meltdown at lunch, resulting in her dumping an oily salad over his head in front of everyone. I try not to laugh with everyone else, grateful my boyfriend doesn’t go to school or make out with other girls in his spare time.

 

There’s the usual bustle in the locker room as we change into our practice clothes and lace up our cleats. I ignore the general din, stomach flip flopping in anticipation of seeing Ben. Even though we live together, I still get butterflies when I haven’t seen him in a couple hours.

 

He’s waiting at the practice field when we all trek out. I try not to beam at him, muffling my feelings. Is this what being in love is like? Cold, nervous sweats and feeling so happy my heart could explode? 

 

“Afternoon ladies,” he says as he start our warm up laps. I jog silently beside Rose, both of us sharing a sympathetic look as Kaydel passes us, sniffling. Rage running.

 

We run drills and plays and scrimmage against each other. Practice flies by and by the time we’re doing our cool down stretches, I’m whooped. Ben claps his hands to get everyone’s attention, shooting me a secretive grin. 

 

“Ok guys, I have an announcement to make. I wanted to tell you before the rumor mill could, but over the weekend I became Rey’s new foster parent. The place she had been living before was - _unacceptable._ So from now on, she’s with me.” He smiled and the girls all twisted to stare at me.

 

“Sleepover at Coach’s?” Pava asks, nudging me in the ribs. I roll my eyes - she’s so horny for Coach.

 

“I know some of you thought I was giving Rey special attention, but it was only to make sure she was safe. But just because I’m her dad now, doesn’t mean she’ll be getting any favoritism. Don’t worry.” Everyone chuckles and just like that, it’s accepted. No questions asked, no suspicion. Maybe even a sense of relief that Ben wasn’t singling me out because I was better than everyone. 

 

After the team headed to the lot, Ben and I did too. When no one was looking, I felt his hand squeeze my ass. I gasped and he just laughed, winking at me.

 

It’s kinda fun, keeping this secret. Living a double life. But how long can I keep it up?


	10. Chapter 10

It’s weird living with my boyfriend/dad, but fun too.

 

Ben doesn’t care if I have a couple beers before bed - in fact, he sometimes encourages it. I’ll be frustrated over World History, sitting at the kitchen table, books spread out, and Ben will slide me a bottle with a grin and a wink. It helps, surprisingly, relaxing my tense muscles and loosening my mind up so the words flow easier. 

 

I usually fall asleep on his chest, cuddled on the couch watching movies or tv shows. We like a lot of the same things - superheroes, sitcoms, Adventure Time. Ben smokes weed a lot, which I never knew before moving in, and the skunky smell takes some getting used to. I don’t mind it after a while. 

 

Ben carries me to my bed every night, and tucks me in. Sometimes he lays down with me, holding me tight against his broad chest and whispering into my hair. I’m usually totally out of it, tired from practice, relaxed from the beer. I always snuggle up to him, happy to be with him. Things are pretty good, I think. Certainly not _normal_ but it feels good to be loved and cared for like this. I’ve never had anything like this, and it’s addictive.

 

One night, I wake up and Ben is on top of me. I can hear the familiar sound of him stroking his cock, fast and furious, but I keep my eyes shut and pretend I’m still asleep. _What is he doing?_ I wonder, groggy but aware enough to know that it’s strange. But Ben is kind of strange, the more I get to know him. I keep my breathing slow despite the way my heart is beginning to pound as he gropes my breasts, teasing my nipples.

 

“I know you’re awake, baby. Come let help Daddy.” His voice is hoarse and deep and I blink at him, anxiety filling my body with cold prickles. “Sit up.”

 

I obey, leaning forward. He rises on his knees so his dick is in my face, knees bracketing my hips. I gulp nervously.

 

“Lick it,” Ben tells me.

 

I keep my eyes on his face as I poke my tongue out and swipe over the head. He’s never let me - or asked me - to do anything like this before. I want to make him feel good but I’m still nervous for some reason. I lick around the head as he grasps the base to hold it steady. 

 

“Put it in your mouth, baby.” He thrusts forward, smacks his cock against my cheek, and I flinch in surprise. “Open up now, my good girl.”

 

I do, as far as I can open my mouth because his dick is huge. Slowly, he sinks in, hissing as his abs tighten in front of me. I stare at his muscles, the sprinkling of hair that trails down. Ben slides in and out, slowly, and I try to keep my jaw open so he won’t hit my teeth. 

 

“Suck it,” he says next. I hollow my cheeks around his hot, iron-hard member and suck. It tastes fine, like sucking on his fingers, except saltier. I don’t mind. My brain seems to shut down as I bob back and forth, taking him as deep as I can without gagging. Even though he’s not touching me at all, I feel heat between my legs and shift as I suck him in. “Just like that, Rey. You’re being such a good girl for your daddy, aren’t you?”

 

I feel his free hand slide into my hair, and moan softly as he gently yanks. I don’t know why I like it - but the heat intensifies in my pussy, making me clench down in need. 

 

“Such a bad girl for me. Only for me,” Ben mumbles. I flick my gaze up to his face and find his brow furrowed as though he’s concentrating hard. He breathes out hard and I watch his handsome face get wrecked with pleasure I’m giving him. It feels powerful. I reach down and rub my cunt through my damp panties. “Fuck Rey, I’m gonna cum. You take it all like a good girl and I’ll eat your pussy until you can’t remember your name.”

 

I moan at his words and redouble my efforts. I’m so turned on I can barely think, breathing hard through my nose as I suck hard and trace the veins on his cock with my tongue. A few seconds later, he jerks my head forward by my hair and spasms in my mouth. His spend coats my throat, hot and gooey, and I barely get the chance to taste it as he’s so deep in my mouth. When he pulls back, I swallow it down, and Ben falls shakily onto his haunches, panting. His face is flushed and sweaty, a few stray curls stuck to his cheeks. I grin at him hopefully.

 

“Did I do good, Daddy?” I ask shyly, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. It still feels kind of silly to call him that, but I know how much he loves it. 

 

“Fucking stellar,” he replies, before pushing me flat on my back and crawling down my body. I smile up at my canopy as he tears my panties down and off my legs. I easily, eagerly spread my thighs open, and he makes a soft grunt as he settles on his belly, wrapping his thick arms around my legs, hands cupping and tilting my ass so I’m as wide open for him as I can be. “Perfect little princess pussy,” Ben groans, lazily licking around my clit.

 

My body jolts, needy and sensitive, as he starts to lick all over. He sucks on my clit and fucks his tongue into my opening, and everything makes me feel hot and tingly. I knot my fingers in his soft, black waves, moaning loudly as he brings me to the edge and then backs off. Ben loves to tease me, almost bring me to orgasm then retreat. I feel a finger brush against my asshole and my whole body stiffens with excitement and fear.

 

“Just touching,” Ben assures me, then latches onto my clit and tortured me perfectly while circling my second entrance. It’s weird but combined with how he’s sucking and teasing my clit it feels so _good_ and it doesn’t take long before I’m convulsing against his beautiful face. I moan his name and feel his fingers dig into my skin, hard enough to bruise, but I like it.

 

Ben eases me through the intense orgasm then slides out from between my twitching thighs to hold me. I curl up against his chest as I come down, sated and sleepy.

 

“Such a good girl, baby. Daddy loves you.”

 

“I love you too, Daddy.”

 

——

 

School is weird and not so fun. I can’t tell Rose anything, even though I long to tell _someone_. But I know it’s a bad idea. No one would understand how much we love each other, how much I mean to Ben. And if they told anyone, like a teacher or something, I could get taken away and put somewhere worse than Plutt’s. That alone keeps my lips buttoned.

 

I’m waiting outside the locker room for my teammates to finish changing so we can head down to the field for practice, my heart fluttering at the thought of seeing Ben, when Poe Dameron sidles up to me. I roll my eyes and turn away from him as he leans against the wall beside me.

 

“Aw, don’t be like that,” he croons, tugging on one of my French braids. I smack his hand away and glare at him. “Don’t be so sour, Rey. It’s not cute.”

 

“Good thing I wasn’t trying to be cute.” I cross my arms over my chest. “What do you want?”

 

“Well, you know Kaydel and I are on the outs,” he says, bracing a hand on the wall above my shoulder, boxing me in and crowding me. I swallow nervously. “And you look so cute with your little pigtail braids.”

 

“Save it,” I snap, “for someone dumb enough to believe you.”

 

“Come on, you know how cute you are,” Poe says, leaning even closer. I freeze up, feeling threatened and unsure. I don’t want to make a scene but I don’t want him this close to me. “I’d love to get under those shorts...” his hand creeps up my thigh.

 

“Get away from me!” I shout, pushing him back and twisting away. Only Ben has ever touched me there - I knew he would hate it if someone else did. I back away, my cleats clicking on the tile floor. 

 

“Don’t be so dramatic,” Poe laughs. I loose my footing and stumble, smacking down on my tailbone with a squeak of surprised pain. I scramble to get up but he grabs my arms, tugging me forward, and I tip against his chest. Instantly, Poe wraps his arms around me and I squirm to get away.

 

“What the _hell_ , Rey!” Kaydel’s voice echoes off the walls down the hallway as she and the rest of the team gather around us. 

 

“It’s not what it looks like - I swear -“ I stammer with wide eyes, finally pushing away from Poe who smirks, so smug, between me and his blonde ex.

 

“Like you’re throwing yourself at my _ex-boyfriend_?” she spits venomously. Her eyes are fiery as she glares daggers at me. “I never figured you for a _slut_ , Rey. Guess I was wrong.” She tipped her chin up and stomped away towards the soccer pitch and I hastened to follow as tears burned behind my eyes. I literally did _nothing_ wrong but Kaydel would never believe me. They never liked me anyway, and this just gave them a reason to openly show it. 

 

I tried to hide my tears, not wanting to alarm Ben, but he seems to sense the chaotic energy from my teammates and with an uncertain smile, he asks, “What’s up, guys? Who died?”

 

I sniffle at the back of the group and cringe when I hear Kaydel clear her throat. “No one died, Coach. Your new daughter is just a slut.”

 

I wish with my whole being that the ground would open up and swallow me whole as I feel Ben’s dark eyes find me. I glance up tearfully, meeting his gaze, and shrink back at the ferocious expression I find.


	11. Chapter 11

After practice, which is long and tensely quiet from everyone, Ben leads me to the car and doesn’t open my door. I slide in with a sniffle, curl forward and hide my face as I start to cry. My stomach hurts - this has been the worst day I’ve had in a long time. Ben says nothing as he starts the engine and heads home.

 

“You let him touch you?” Ben asks quietly. The radio isn’t on, the only sound my muffled sobs. “Where’d he touch you?”

 

“I didn’t want him to,” I sob. Snot and tears mix on my face and I sit up slowly, using the hem of my practice shirt to wipe my face up. “I swear, Daddy.” I slip in the nickname, hoping it will ease the tension. His nostrils flare and he smacks his blinker, easing to a stop at the red light ahead of us.

 

“Where did he touch you?” Ben repeats slowly. Like I’m dumb. I sniffle and breathe shakily as I point to my inner thigh. “That’s it?”

 

“He - he hugged me too. That’s what Kaydel saw,” I explain weakly. Dread and anticipation make my stomach knot up. I wrong my hands and watch Ben nervously. He’s never been mad at me before, not like _this_. His face is blank, impassive, even though he breathes hard as he navigates us home. As soon as he pull in the driveway, he grabs me by the back of my neck.

 

“Go inside. Take off all your clothes. Lie face down on your bed.” He is so deadly calm and serious that it scares me. I nod, silent, and he lets me go. My neck throbs where he grabbed me. I gather my bag and head inside, going straight for my room. My hands shake as I drop my bag and toe off my cleats.

 

What is he going to do to me? Is he going to punish me? I pull my top over my head, then my sports bra. I shimmy out of my shorts and panties, strip off my tall socks, and move to my bed. I make it every morning so my room is neat, how Ben likes it, showing him I can appreciate everything he’s done for me.

 

Slowly, I lay down. I let my hands by my side and turn my face so my cheek rests on my lavender bedspread. I close my eyes tight and try not to squirm as a million different possibilities race through my mind. My ears strain to hear any subtle noises coming from the rest of the house - it’s quiet. 

 

I shift nervously, rubbing my thighs together. I’m wet for some reason. Even when I’m uncertain of what’s going to happen, being naked and waiting for Ben has me aroused. I bite my lip and turn my face in the other direction. My llama is perched on my pillows, watching me.

 

What seems like hours but is probably fifteen minutes, I hear footsteps coming down the hall and my door whining open. I hold my breath as Ben comes closer and stops at the side of my bed.

 

“Am I in trouble?” I ask in a small voice.

 

“Yes,” Ben says decisively. “You let another boy paw at what’s _mine_ , Rey. You have to learn to defend your honor better.” I hear his belt clink open and stiffen nervously. It hisses through his belt loops and then he drops it to the floor. I can’t help but sigh in relief. The belt would hurt, I think. “I’m going to spank you, Rey. And then I’m going to make you mine.”

 

 _Make me his? Aren’t I already? Even like, legally?_ I’m confused but I keep my mouth shut. Ben grabs my hips and drags my legs over the side of the bed. His foot kick mine apart, widening my stance so my legs are spread and my chest resting on the bed. I can feel air against my slick pussy. I blush as his fingers drag through my arousal. 

 

“Such a little slut for Daddy.” Ben tsks and before I can respond to defend myself, a sharp blow lands on my skin, right where my thigh meets the curve of my ass. “So bad. Did you get wet for Dameron, too?” Another smack on my opposite side, mirroring the first. It stings, it feels hot, radiating my pain, and I clench the bedspread in my fists with the effort it takes to keep quiet.

 

“Did you Rey? Answer me!” Ben shouts, slapping my ass _hard_.

 

“N-no! I didn’t get wet for Poe!” I exclaim as he rains down blows all over my backside. I jump away but he only grabs one hipbone, fingers bruising as they dig into me. He holds me down as he spanks me over and over. My skin feels hot and smarts. I sob freely.

 

“You belong to me,” Ben pants once he’s finished with spanking me. Roughly, he flips me onto my back. My vision swims as I stare at him in shock. I never imagined he would hit me, not so much or so hard. His chest heaves as he tries to catch his breath, face flushed. His hair is tied back on his head in a knot and he glares down at me. “You are _mine_. No one else is allowed to touch you, understand?”

 

“Y-Yes,” I whimper nervously. He grabs his shirt by the collar and drags it over his head. His usually pale skin is pink, moles dotting the plains of his body. The muscle in his pec jumps as he unfastens his jeans and brings them down his thighs. He’s hard, straining against his briefs. Did hurting me get him excited? It makes my stomach clench with fear.

 

Once we’re both undressed, Ben takes both of my thighs, pushing them open and up. I hook my hands around the back of my knees like he wants. My skin tingles, I’m spread open as far as possible, every inch of my wet cunt available to his dark, heated gaze. He stares at me for a moment before nodding, like he’s deciding something, as he strokes his big dick slowly.

 

“You ready for Daddy, baby girl?” Ben asks. I whimper - is he going to take my virginity now? We have never discussed it, but - surely he would ask before, right? I don’t know if I’m ready!

 

But Ben doesn’t care. He scrunches down and lines himself up, rubbing the head through my wet folds a few times to coat his length. Then he was at my entrance, pushing forward, and I gasped in surprise.

 

“Gotta get here first,” Ben mutters. “Fucking tight little pussy -“

 

“Ben!” I exclaim, but he’s ignoring me, or too focused to pay attention to my mouth. His jaw goes slack as he stretches me, pushing in so slow. The stretch burns, making me clench down with nerves. I’m scared - will it hurt too bad, what if I bleed, will everyone be able to tell that I let my foster dad, my _coach_ , take my virginity? “Ben,” I whimper again as he continues to sink into me.

 

“Fuck yeah,” he groans, finally seated. His hips are tight against my ass. “Look at you, baby. Spread open for Daddy, taking his cock like a good little slut.” 

 

I don’t really want to be called a slut. I sniff loudly as he pulls back - it stings, it feels so weird, full - and then shivers forward again. I dig my nails into the flesh of my thighs and bite my cheek to keep from screaming. Ben loves me, and I love him, and this is what people in love do. I just thought it would be more special, that he would get me flowers or something. 

 

But Ben seems possessed. He’s not himself as he slams into me, careless of how I hiss at each burning tug of his cock. He’s too big, I wasn’t ready, and tears fall silently as he grunts and whispers above me.

 

“Fucking my baby girl,” Ben says breathlessly. “Fucking hot, Rey. Say you’re Daddy’s girl,” he demands.

 

“I’m Daddy’s girl,” I whimper. 

 

“Damn straight,” Ben grunts. His thrusts grow sloppy and uneven and he leans down to cup my jaw in one big hand. “Tell me you love me.”

 

“I love you!” I cry. I feel the stirring of my own orgasm, and want to sob with relief. It comes barreling out of nowhere as he fucks into me, short, hard strokes that make my body bounce with the force of it. 

 

“Gonna fill your pretty pussy with all of Daddy’s cum, sweetheart.” Ben gasps and makes a choked noise as my cunt starts to spasm around him. It feels good, finally - my body warmed up and accepting his assault on my little channel. I gasp as I tip over the edge, tearing up for a different reason as the intense waves wash over me in tingles. My eyes roll back and I arch my chest out. One of Ben’s hands finds my tit and tweaks my nipple. I feel it in my clit, trembling and clenching around his cock. It doesn’t take long until he slams into me a final time. I can feel every pulse of his member as he empties inside of me with surprisingly quiet grunts.

 

After, he collapses on top of me, softening member slipping out. I stroke his sweaty forehead as he clings to me, wrapping me in strong arms and sealing our chests together.

 

It doesn’t feel bad, but it doesn’t feel right either. I hold him as he whispers and kisses my salty flesh. I can’t believe I’m not a virgin anymore.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just setting up for next chapter...

Nothing feels different after I lose my virginity, but at the same time, everything does. I go to school and wonder if anyone can tell the difference. Rose treats me just the same, waiting for me at my locker like always, telling me about how messed up what happened with Poe was. I had already forgotten about that, and dread makes my stomach knot up at the thought of what will happen at practice today. 

 

Kaydel gives me the cold shoulder in English and I slink down at my desk, humiliated and ashamed. If Poe ever puts his hands on me again, I’m going to break his fingers.

 

Lunch is awkward. I can feel our teammates glaring from the popular table, and even Rose seems uncomfortable. Poe, as always, seems totally unaffected. I’m glad that it’s Friday, that I’ll have two whole days without having to see his stupid face. Even if he shows up at our home game, I won’t have to see him. I’ll just stay on the field.

 

“I can’t believe they’re acting like this,” Rose mutters over her pudding cup. She leans towards me across the table, voice hushed. “Poe hooks up with anything that will have him. Kaydel is being such a bitch.”

 

“I know,” I grumble, dejected. I still feel like it must be my fault. After all, Ben even told me I should’ve protected myself better. I let another guy touch me and didn’t even do anything to fight him off. He must think I’m such a slut - he said it enough while we made love for the first time. I swallow hard as tears sting the back of my eyes and take a deep, steadying breath.

 

He acted like everything was fine this morning. Nothing out of the usual at all. Made me Eggos and asked if I got my homework done, reminded me to grab my practice clothes out of the dryer. Sometimes, he really does feel more like my dad than my boyfriend.

 

“I’m fine,” I tell Rose as the bell rings and we rise to leave the caf. “It’ll blow over eventually.”

 

Rose nods but doesn’t look so sure, and we part ways to go to our afternoon classes.

 

I text Ben from biology.

 

**Rey**   
_I don’t feel so good today._

 

**Ben**   
_what’s wrong baby?_

 

I glance up and catch Jess watching me. She sneers before turning to the front of the room again. I feel sick.

 

**Rey**   
_everyone is being awful about this Poe thing... even though I didn’t do anything and didn’t want him to do anything. No one will talk to me but Rose_

 

I turn my phone over anxiously as I wait for his response. The teacher drones on about genomes and I can’t pay attention. I don’t want to go to practice. I just want to go home and lay on the couch and pretend nothing happened, that everything is the same as it was two days ago. It feels like everything is different now.

 

**Ben**   
_it’ll be ok babe. Come to practice and we’ll sort this out, okay? I love you_

 

I blush at those three little words and send them back with heart emojis even as my stomach churns with dread. I don’t know what he thinks will fix this, but I’m doubtful it will work.

 

The locker room is loud as usual after school as we change. No one is talking to me, and Rose must be sending my gloomy mood because she’s quiet too. We walk out and down to the field together, trailing the rest of the group. Ben looks handsome as usual in track pants and a wind breaker, hair messy and loose around his gorgeous face. It’s getting chillier every day now. I hide my smile at seeing him. Butterflies erupt despite my sour mood at just being around him.

 

“Afternoon ladies,” he says cheerfully as we gather around to stretch and warm up. 

 

“Hey Coach,” the team choruses back. Kaydel shoots me a look as I roll my shoulders and stretch out my arms.

 

“Since we have a home game this weekend, Rey and I thought it would be fun to have a sleepover on Saturday after the game. Everyone’s invited.” He grins and props his clipboard against his hip and my heart sinks into my stomach. I glare at him - _a sleepover_? That’s his great plan to fix everything? I subtly shake my head but he ignores me as the girls gush excitedly. They’ve wanted to see Coach’s house, speculated on what he sleeps in. I did too, before I found out for real, and now he’s inviting these mean girls into our home?

 

The bile rising in my throat tastes distinctly like betrayal. But I paste on a smile as Rose grabs my hand and bounces excitedly. At least I’ll have one ally there.


	13. Chapter 13

We go grocery shopping Saturday morning to stock up for the slumber party. I haven’t gotten over my nerves, but Ben claims it’s a rite of passage for every teenage girl. He seems to think we’ll work out our issues as a team, and it’ll make us bond. I don’t feel the same optimism that has him whistling down the frozen food aisle.

 

“Come on, Rey. It’ll be fun, I promise,” Ben says as he grabs a couple pizzas off the frosty shelf. I roll my eyes and drag my feet as I follow him pushing the cart. “Haven’t you seen a single teen girl movie?”

 

“Of course,” I mumble. “Have _you_?”

 

“Don’t me sour. Everything will be fine.” He ruffles my hair and hugs me to his side. I trudge along and ignore the looks from older women that can’t decide if we’re an adorable fathers-daughter duo or a couple. It’s one of the more annoying things about our relationship. I wish people would just mind their business.

 

I clean my room, hiding away my dirty laundry and make my bed. Ben says we’ll camp out in the living room, but I’d rather sleep in my bed. Maybe Rose and I can do that while everyone else sleeps on the big sectional sofa. We’ll eat junk food and watch movies. I try to convince myself that this is as good as Ben swears it will be, but the gut feeling I have says differently. 

 

I can barely focus during the game. We lose by one goal but no one seems that disappointed, not even Ben. Since our game is on our home field, everyone heads to the locker room to get changed. Their parents are going to drop them off at our house afterwards.

 

“Coach is so cool for inviting us over,” Rose says cheerfully as she pulls on a pair of comfy pink sweats. I shrug, glum, as I pull on my leggings and a loose hoodie. I’m not looking forward to having my teammates invade mine and Ben’s home. I don’t know why it makes me mad - it has been just Ben and I for so long, in secret, that the thought of sharing it, sharing him, makes me irrationally angry. 

 

“Yeah, Rey. Looks like you hit the orphan lotto,” Kaydel sneers as she and Pava saunter last, giggling obnoxiously.

 

“Why are they even coming if they hate me so much?” I grumble as I shove my feet into my new slip on Vans that Ben got me last week. They’re pink and black checkered - he has a pair that are white and black. We kind of match. 

 

“To see Coach in his natural habitat and flirt with him,” Rose quips. I roll my eyes. Ben is _mine_ and I want to scream it in their faces but I can’t. I swallow down my irritation and tell Rose I’ll see her in a bit before heading to the parking lot where Ben is waiting for me. He pats my shoulder, totally innocent since there’s so many people and parents around, offering support after our crappy game. He opens the passenger door for me and I drop in with a huff.

 

“Don’t worry babe,” Ben says as he starts the engine. “You were on fire. You scored one of our two goals. That’s awesome.”

 

“We still lost. Pava was distracted by how she’s going to seduce you tonight,” I reply with an eye roll. Ben bursts out laughing, hitting the brakes with a jerk. “What? She wouldn’t shut up about it in the locker room.”

 

“Are you jealous, Rey?” Ben asks, smiling slowly. If lights up his face like the sun breaking over the horizon. I shrug and stick my tongue out, pulling out my phone and ignoring the soft looks he keeps shooting me. He’s so _weird_ sometimes.

 

Rose and Kaydel have both texted me to say they’re showering before heading over, and that Jess is riding with Kaydel. When we get home, I drop my things in my room and grab s T-shirt and sweats before heading to the shower. I’m behind the curtain, lathering up my dark brown locks, when it slides open and Ben steps in.

 

“Need a hand?” he asks, pressing his big chest to my front. His hands rove all over my body, cupping my breasts and brushing his thumbs over my painfully erect nipples, down between my legs from the front and the back. He kneads my ass as he strums my clit, making my legs twitch.

 

“Everyone is going to be here soon!” I gasp, scandalized that he would push it so close to everyone arriving. But my body betrays me, reacting to each caress, each kiss against my lips and throat. I moan softly as his fingers slide around my ass and thrust inside of me. I thrust back and forth, trying to fuck on his fingers as well as have him rub my clit, and I know I must look ridiculous but it feels so good.

 

“I just wanted to remind you who you belong to,” Ben murmurs as he circles my clit and uses his fingers to fuck me. “You don’t need to be jealous - you’re the only girl I love, Rey. They don’t even compare.” His voice is deep and husky as he plunders my body. It doesn’t take very long before I’m gasping and moaning and a mess of trembling limbs. Ben spins me, pushing me bent over, hooking a hand under my leg to lift my thigh and open me up, before he pushes into me.

 

It burns and stretches just like the first time. Tears prick my eyes but I’m determined to take it, to give him the same pleasure he gave me. If I don’t, he could try to find it somewhere else - like Poe. The thought horrifies me into action. I make little noises despite the ache deep inside, and push back against his hips so every thrust in he bottoms out, filling me all the way up. Ben clenches at my hips and rocks against me, muttering my name and how much he loves me between grunts of pleasure.

 

“Tell Daddy you love him,” Ben grits out.

 

“I love you! I love you so much!” I cry, and he swiftly pulls out and I feel something wet and hot splash over my ass. He pants, hard, standing behind me. 

 

“I marked you,” he tells me, caressing my lower back almost reverently. “Now you’re mine.”

 

“I already was,” I remind him.

 

Ben exits with a quick grin and I turn my back to the spray, washing his spend down the drain. Everyone will be here soon.

 

I get changed and blow dry my hair quickly. I wonder if anyone will be able to tell that our soccer coach just fucked me in the shower, promising he loves only me. I smirk at my reflection - it feels powerful. I don’t know where the emotion comes from. But it feels good.


	14. Chapter 14

Everyone arrives shortly after I’m finished with the shower. It winds up just being Kaydel, Jess, and Rose. Part of me is hurt that more of the team didn’t show up, but a bigger part of me is relieved. At least I have Rose - Kaydel and Jess seem to show up just to spite me.

 

They spend the evening following Ben around. I ignore the way Kaydel flirtatiously asks if she can have a beer (and Ben’s quick and firm _no_ , which makes me grin like an idiot because he always lets _me_ have beer), pretending to pay attention to the stupid romcom that Rose has selected. 

 

“They’re so annoying,” Rose huffs as they giggle obnoxiously from the other room. I’m thankful for my throw blanket as I curl my fists into the fleece. I hate that he’s paying attention to them - that I can’t do anything to stop it without seeming completely lame or giving away our secret.

 

Ben knows, and I think he enjoys it. Jealousy is hot as it floods my system, making me irritated and hurt at the same time. Doesn’t he care that he’s making me upset? Does he _have_ to put on such a good act? I know he’s my boyfriend - he loves me. I know he does. But keeping it a secret is like getting stabbed over and over, pretending nothing bothers me. Pretending I’m not in love with him.

 

Is he looking at Kaydel or Jess like he looks at me? Does it make their insides warm and soft? Does it turn their knees to Jell-O? I want to punch them both in the face, want to scream at them to leave _my boyfriend_ alone. He’s the only person I have - can’t they find their own guys?

 

“Like, how desperate can they be?” Rose asls with an eye roll. She pops a piece of popcorn into her mouth. “Like Coach would ever risk his career for a teenager. He could go to _jail_ ,” she adds dramatically.

 

“Right, exactly,” I agree in a clipped tone. I don’t want to think of that, either - the idea of someone discovering mine and Ben’s feelings for each other would be a lot worse for him than it would for me. I will myself to calm down, reminding myself that Ben has warmed me before that all the attention he gives to Kaydel and Jess - or any other girl, for that matter - was just making us stronger. Skewing any suspicion away from him, making it look like he was just a friendly guy. 

 

 _Its fine,_ I think, taking a deep breath. _He’s doing it for us. So we can be together._

 

We order pizza and put Breakfast Club on tv. Ben watches us watching the movie and goofing off. Rose knows every line and recites them along with the actors. When I feel his gaze on me, I give him a shy smile across the darkened living room. Soon after we eat and the movie finishes, Ben suggests we head to my room to turn in for the night. I think he probably just wants to smoke a joint in peace, so I lead the way to my room after we say goodnight.

 

“Wow Rey, your room is... cute.” Kaydel isn’t trying to hide her disdain. “It’s so... princess-y.” Her big blue eyes take in all the girly furniture and my canopy bed. I blush slightly - it’s not like I picked it out. 

 

Everyone spreads their sleeping bags on the floor and I crawl into bed. We turn out the lights soon after, but Kaydel and Jess both have their phones out so the room is slightly lit as I set my llama on the nightstand.

 

“You are so lucky, Rey,” Jess sighs dreamily. 

 

“Living with Coach? He’s so hot,” Kaydel agrees.

 

“And nice! Like genuinely nice,” Rose agrees. “It’s so cool that he let you have us all over for the night.”

 

“I wish I were ten years older,” Jess says. “And like, maybe Coach would wanna get with me then.”

 

“Dream on. If he got with any of us, it would be me. Do you _see_ the way he looks at me?” Kaydel giggles and I fight the urge to scream. “Ten years or not. Coach wants me.”

 

“In your dreams!” Rose laughs. “Coach would never do that. You’re gross.”

 

After a while, they settle down. Soon their soft snores and breathing fills the room, and I slip out of bed quietly. I carefully step over my teammates sleeping forms and tiptoe down the hallway. Ben is laying on bed, and glances up from his phone as I approach. 

 

“Hey baby girl,” he says, lifting the sheet so I can slide in beside him. I curl up against his side. Ben is so solid and warm against me. “Get lonely without Daddy to hold you?”

 

“Mhm.” And jealous, and greedy, and needing to reassure myself that it’s me you want... not my teammates. I don’t say that out loud, though. Instead, I carefully press my lips to his, nervous to initiate something intimate between us. Ben is always the one making moves. But I want him so much, I feel desperate to have his hands and lips and everything else touching me.

 

“Gotta be quiet. Don’t want our friends to catch us,” Ben purrs. It doesn’t take much to flip me on my belly, and he’s pulling down my sweats, dragging my panties down with them. I arch up, wiggling, and he chuckles as he presses a kiss to my ass cheek. “So sassy tonight, Rey, why’s that?”

 

“I-I don’t know,” I stutter as his fingers find my clit and circle light and slow. 

 

“Are you jealous? Do you think I want any of them?” Ben pushes a finger deeply inside, and I suck in a surprised breath, arching into his touch. 

 

“I only want you to want me,” I whisper as he starts fucking me with his fingers. It feels good, but I crave more. “Please Daddy, I need you so much!”

 

“What do you need?” Ben asks in a deep, gravelly breath, even as he moves to free himself from his gray sweats.

 

“I need your dick, Daddy. Please.” I spread my legs wider and arch my back up to expose my pussy even more. Ben growls softly before I feel him drape his body over my backside, his cock nudging at my entrance. He thrust in and I grab a pillow to stifle my moan. He’s so big, the stretch burns. I don’t care - I just want him to fuck me. Prove that it’s me he really wants.

 

Ben doesn’t disappoint. He rocks into me, over and over, whispering filthy things into my hair as his hips make my butt jiggle. Sooner than I expect, my orgasm rushes up and crashes over me - I whimper as quietly as I can as I clench along his hard length. Soon after that, Ben pulls out and I feel the splash of cum on my ass. He breaths hard, muttering my name under his breath. 

 

“I love you,” I whisper. Ben puts my panties and sweats on without wiping his spend off. I feel it cling to the soft cotton, wet and sticky and gross. 

 

“Go back to bed, baby. I love you too.” Ben kisses my forehead and sends me on my way. 

 

I tiptoe down the hall and into my room, gingerly over my teammates. The bed creaks softly as I climb in and I hold my breath before snuggling down in the blankets. I’m almost asleep when I hear Rose ask, “Are you okay, Rey?”

 

My pulse doubles and I can barely breathe. “Yes, fine. Go back to sleep, Rose.”

 

Hopefully in the morning, she won’t even remember.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short creepy chapter

Things calm down after the sleepover. Monday at school, Pava and Kaydel seem to be friendly again. Practice goes smoothly; I’m not called out or picked on at all, and Ben doesn’t single me out either. It’s nice to fly under the radar, and by the time we get home, I’m feeling better.

 

“Go jump in the shower,” Ben instructs as I drop my bag and slip off my cleats. “I’ll get dinner going.”

 

A shower sounds good so I nod. Under the hot spray, I scrub my sweaty hair and body, humming under my breath and thinking about the history homework I have. Halloween is quick approaching - I wonder what Ben will have in mind. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that Ben likes to have a plan. He also likes to spring things on me.

 

Dinner is grilled cheese sandwiches and greasy chips and it hits the spot. I sip a glass of milk and start on my homework while Ben does the dishes and occasionally drops kisses on my head, which makes me smile and hunch over my textbook with a blush. I wonder if I’ll ever get over being shy or embarrassed at his displays of affection.

 

I finish my milk and my homework and Ben pulls me into the couch for a couple episode of the Office before bed. My limbs are heavy with exhaustion. I curl up against him and yawn, so sleepy. My eyes can barely stay open. 

 

“It’s ok, Princess. Daddy’s got you.” Ben hugs me tighter and I nod. The world feels fuzzy as I try to hang on, but soon enough I am nodding off into a deep sleep.

 

—

 

I wake up disoriented in the dark. Something isn’t right.

 

I’m on my belly in bed but it’s too dark to make out if it’s mine or Ben’s. I blink slowly and try to shift but it’s as though my body has been weighed down with heavy rocks. I can barely lift my head. I frown, groggy and confused, as I try to take in my surroundings. My tongue is dry as I try to lick my lips and that’s when I hear him.

 

“Such a pretty pussy for Daddy,” Ben murmurs. I feel him nudging my thighs apart and I’m helpless to fight it as he positions my body how he wants. One strong arm lifts my hips and stuffs a pillow underneath, ripping it right out from under my head. _What is he doing?_ I wonder to myself. Curious, nervous, I remain still while I listen and feel. “Warm and wet and pink.”

 

Behind my eyelids there’s a flash of light, then another. I can’t make sense of it. Then I feel two of his thick fingers pushing into me and hold in a gasp.

 

“Daddy’s little slut likes it,” Ben croons. “So wet for me. Didn’t even do anything.” He starts to fuck into me and I do my best not to react. I want to pretend I’m asleep, so I can figure out what the hell he’s doing. He twists his hand and grinds his palm against my clit while thrusting his fingers. It feels good, but I can’t react. Even if I wanted to.

 

He grunts softly and I hear the soft rustle of fabric sliding. Ben is doing something to himself now as his fingers work me closer to the edge. Quick, short strokes as his palm mashes my bundle of nerves. It feels good, and the fact that I’m not sure what’s going on - why he waited until I was asleep - only makes it hotter somehow. I rub my cheek against my comforter and Ben chuckles. “That’s right baby girl. Daddy is gonna take care if you. Sleepyhead.”

 

Why is he doing this? Should I tell him I’m awake? It doesn’t seem to matter - maybe he likes that I’m “asleep.” I keep still except for how he jolts my body with the thrusts of his hand. Soon, he stops. Then I feel the bed shift as he leans forward.

 

“Just a little taste, Daddy,” he murmurs. His tongue glides over my private parts and I whimper, which makes him stop. He pulls back, I can feel his gaze on my heated sex. It’s like he’s holding his breath, he’s so quiet. After a long pause, more shifting. And then I feel the blunt head of his dick seeking entrance into my right channel.

 

Ben is so careful as he eases into me, taking much longer than normal to work his way into my pussy. He is so gentle that it feels amazing, like easing into a warm bath. My limbs are heavy and limp as he finally hilts deep inside.

 

“Fuck, Rey. You feel so good,” he hisses in a tight voice. I feel his hips drag back before softly pushing in. He’s rocking into me, and it feels so good - lulling with each ginger stroke, he’s trying so hard not to wake me. Ben kneads my ass as he so softly fucks me. Not long and my body reacts, tightening and shuddering as sparks burst in my pelvis. I tremble and murmur weakly as he continues. “Such a good baby. My sweet little girl. Princess Rey.” 

 

Breath comes in quick pants and his sweaty palms hold me down. I tremble with desire and confusion until he finally comes, deep inside of me, filling me up with his warm spend. love that feeling, though it’s kind of gross and wet. 

 

“Perfect, baby. My little Rey.” Ben sighs and pulls away. I can sense him standing beside the bed, staring down at me. Once he leaves, I remain still in the darkness, jizz leaking from between my legs. 

 

What the hell was that?


	16. Chapter 16

The next morning, I wake to Ben brushing the hair out of my face. It’s a school day, so it’s still dark, and I yawn as I roll onto my back, stretching. My body feels sore, triggers a memory of last night and Ben rocking into me.

“Morning, Princess,” he says, and I jerk out of his touch. “What’s wrong?” His eyebrows tilt towards each other in concern - but something about his expression feels off. Like it’s not real. I scrub a hand over my groggy eyes and shake my head.

“I don’t know... last night...” I comb my fingers through my hair and remember how strange it felt, having him on top of me but pretending to be asleep. “I wasn’t asleep when you came in here and...” I raise my eyebrows meaningfully.

“I didn’t come in here last night,” Ben says, smiling slightly. Like I’m being silly. “Sounds like _someone_ was having naughty dreams about her daddy.”

I blush furiously and shake my head. I know the difference between dreams and reality - and last night was _real_. It had felt so good in the moment, but waking up this morning feels... dirty. Like he was using me for his pleasure, some kind of sex doll. A low throb in my pussy argues that I had liked it, that I _do_ like it. But another part is screaming out that _all_ of this is wrong. Not just sleeping with my coach, but living together, him being my foster father. Everything feels too perfect, manufactured. Nothing in life happened the way Ben and I did.

“No Ben. I know you came in here and - I don’t like it. I don’t want you to do it again,” I insist. I slide off the bed and start going through my dresser for some clothes.

“Rey - I’m not sure what you think happened. But I swear, I wasn’t on your room last night.” Ben Modesto stand behind me, big hands resting on my shoulders. They’re warm and his fingers trail down my arms. “You probably had a really vivid dream. Are you pent up? Have you been having regular orgasms?”

“You _know_ I have,” I hiss. I’m not stupid - why is he pretending nothing happened? It couldn’t have been a dream. Right?

I pull on clean panties as Ben watches. He’s already wearing dark sweats and a hoodie, ready to take me to school then head to his own job.

“I’m sorry you’re upset, Rey. But nothing happened between us last night. You passed out and I tucked you into bed. I didn’t realize that was a crime.” Ben’s tone is filled with irritation and he folds his arms over his broad chest, chewing the corner of his lip. Pissed at me, now. I wilt instantly and put my hands on his biceps, squeezing gently. I hate when he gets annoyed or upset with me - fear rises up in my stomach so quickly it burns.

If Ben got mad enough to break up with me, I could lose everything. My home, my school, my friends. Soccer. The very notion of us splitting - me doing something so catastrophically wrong that he could ruin my entire _life_ \- makes my knees feel weak like jelly. I had to do better, be better.

“You’re probably right,” I say, even though in my chest I know what happened last night. How could I forget how soft and gentle he was, like he would break me apart if he went too fast or hard? It was the best sex we’d ever had.

Maybe it _was_ a dream. Because Ben is usually so rough, forceful. Pushing into me before I’m totally ready, palming my breasts and pinching my nipples until it stung and heat pulses between my thighs. I usually felt sore and exhausted after we made love. But last night wasn’t like that at all.

“I love you,” I remind him as I tug on a pair of jeans.

“I know,” Ben replies with a smirk. “I’ll go get your breakfast ready for you.”

I nod, watching him go. It kind of feels like I’m going crazy.

 

——

 

Later that day in chemistry, Rose is dozing beside me while I take notes. I almost think she’s asleep until she judges my arm and slides a piece of paper over our lab table to me. I open it as quietly as possible while the teacher drones on in the front of the room.

 _Finn and I did it last night. I wanted to keep it on the DL but I just had to tell you._ Her handwriting is neat and bubbly and my heart lurches in surprise.

They haven’t even been talking that long! But the satisfied grin on her face is the only explanation I need. I wish that I could share that I took crossed the barrier from boring virgin to sexually addictive adult, but I can’t: she would ask who it was that I lost my virginity to, and I’m too bad a liar to believe I could tell her anyone but Ben. And then we’d be in a real pickle.

“Slut,” I tease under my breath, making her laugh. It must be so nice to be Rose. To have two parents and a cool older sister. Worrying about normal stuff like grades and boys. Not if my boyfriend/dad was falling out of love with me or lying about fucking me while I’m asleep. Losing my home, that kind of stuff.

“It’s not all that it’s cracked up to be,” she says, shrugging one shoulder up. “It was good but...”

“Not like the movies?” I supply helpfully.

“At all.” She smiles. “You’ll see some day.”

I think of Ben and his rough hands holding me down, his cock impaling me into the mattress of my canopy bed, his tongue sliding through my soaked folds. “Some day,” I agree with a sigh.


	17. Chapter 17

Ben has me bent over the counter in the bathroom. We had taken a shower together, which started innocently but quickly devolved into his fingers sliding through my slick folds, teasing me until I’m begging him to fuck me. He had shut off the water with one hand while looping an arm around my waist, dragging me out of the shower to fold over the counter. 

 

He grunts as he slams into me, knocking my hipbones into the counter with an inelegant grunt. My fingers scrabble for purchase as I moan. 

 

“Tell Daddy you love him,” Ben hisses softly as he leans over my back. He gathers my wet hair over my shoulder and nibbles on my earlobe - the sensation shoots straight to my core, making me clench around him. Ben groans.

 

“I love you, Daddy,” I whimper with need. It feels so good - pleasurable flames licking up my thighs and pelvis. He’s hitting a spot deep inside of me with every thrust and my eyes fight to stay open. I moan quietly and he cuffs me around the throat. Not tight enough to cut my breathing off, but the right amount of pressure to make me squeeze around his dick again.

 

“Such a good girl,” he says softly. His thrusts slow, dragging achingly in and out of me. The friction, the pressure - I’m building towards an incredible orgasm that threatens to tear me to pieces. I don’t know how Ben does it, every time. It’s always better than the time before. It shouldn’t be possible to have such explosive, head-spinning sex. I’m addicted to it.

 

“Please Daddy,” I whimper softly. “Please, I wanna cum!”

 

“You do?” he asks, sounding surprised. He withdraws from my tight cunt and uses both big hands to spin me around. A hand on my shoulder pushes me to the floor. I blink up at him in shock.

 

“What -“

 

“Suck me clean, baby doll.” He grins and waves his thick cock in my face. It’s covered in my arousal and I don’t know if I want to taste it. I shrink back against the cupboards and Ben chuckles. He cups my cheek and guides me to his dick, a grin I’ve never seen on his handsome, flushed face. “Be a good girl, Rey. Show Daddy you love him.”

 

Wrinkling my nose, I lick around the head. He tastes tangy, musky, but it’s not awful. I suck the head into my mouth and swirl my tongue around, making him grunt. Ben slides one hand into my hair and tugs, forcing him further into my mouth.

 

He wants to be rough. I settle in for the ride, letting him fuck in and out of my mouth. “Touch yourself,” he commands and I slide a hand down my front. My clit is swollen and makes me shiver as I rub it. I’m dripping wet - I always get turned on when I blow him. I can’t explain it - seeing him fall apart while I’m sucking him is just  _ hot. _ I reach for his hips to brace myself as he fucks my face, breathing harshly. His dark hair hangs in his face as he watches me.

 

“Such a good little slut. My slut.” He this harshly on my hair and I swallow saliva that doesn’t drool out of my mouth around his cock. He pants and his abdomen flexes - he’s close.

 

“Fuck me Daddy,” I whine. I pull back to stroke him and Ben nods. I stand up and bend over again, feeling him quickly stretching me open again. I think of poor Rose, fucking Finn, how she doesn’t feel much and never gets off. Ben always makes sure I fall apart under him - maybe I’m just lucky. Maybe it means we’re meant to be together. Soulmates. I gasp out as he roughly rolls my clit in his calloused fingers.

 

“Gonna fill you up, Rey.” His words are a warning and I squeak in surprise. We aren’t being careful - I don’t want a baby -

 

But the thought is sending me over the edge, making me cum in an explosion of shivers and clenching around him. Ben follows me, thrusting in brutally before I feel the heat blooming inside me.

 

Will it always feel this good? I go boneless and Ben scoops me up, whispering into my hair how perfect I am, what a good girl I am for him. He puts me to bed and I’m asleep before my head hits the pillow.

  
  
  


——

  
  
  


I wake in the middle of the night, so thirsty. I crawl out of bed, mindless of my nudity, and pad to the kitchen. I hear Ben’s voice coming from his bedroom and pause outside of his door.

 

“How much?” he asks, then a long pause. “I don’t know. I can’t knock her up - she’s only sixteen.”

 

I frown and lean closer. 

 

“She’s a kid, I don’t care about views. You think a baby will make it easier to make new content? I already had new cameras installed everywhere… not just the nanny cam.” He sounds frustrated and his words don’t make sense. Cameras? A baby? I hold my breath and try to be as quiet as possible as I eavesdrop. 

 

“This is already illegal. I’m screwed if it ever gets leaked to the clearnet.” I peek through the crack in the door and see him perched on the edge of his bed with his laptop open in front of him. The light glows in the darkness of the room, bathing him in the bright glow. He stretches and his shoulder muscles ripple. 

 

What is he  _ talking _ about?

 

“I’ll figure something out. But no pregnancy. I want her all to myself.” Ben sounds resolute, firm. “I’ll work on some more Daddy-daughter stuff. See if I can get her to play baby, that bullshit. Yeah.” 

 

I sense the conversation coming to a close and head back to my room on tiptoe so he doesn’t hear me. Once safely under my blankets, I ponder what the hell that was about. Who was he talking to? What did it all mean?

 

I don’t fall asleep for a long time. I’m afraid to question him about it so I keep my mouth closed the following morning. I can’t help but glance around the house - I don’t see any cameras. I know they have to be  _ somewhere _ and my gut churns with anxiety as I wonder what my Daddy is up to now.


	18. Chapter 18

“You’re quiet today,” Rose says as we trudge down to the soccer field. It’s a chilly autumn day and my mind is a dark tangle of thoughts. I can’t stop thinking about Ben. About what I overheard. It’s been two days and I haven’t had time alone to look through the house. I’m almost afraid to.

 

“Just a lot on my mind,” I reply with a shrug.  _ Understatement of the year. _

 

“Sucks about districts, but we have next year!” Rose shoots me a big grin. I’d totally forgotten that we didn’t qualify - in the chaos of what’s going on with Ben and I, everything else has fallen to the wayside. 

 

I have to get in there alone. He’s always home when I am - never goes out with his friends, grocery shops while I’m at school. I’m beginning to wonder if he even has friends. I force a smile as I spot him on the field as my stomach flip-flops. 

 

“Things okay with Coach?” Rose asks as we join the team going through stretches on the field. My face must Telegraph more than I want so I nod quickly.

 

“Everything is great,” I assure her. “Best placement I’ve ever had.” I smooth a hand over my ponytail and Rose, satisfied with my answer, drops the conversation as Coach blows his whistle.

  
  
  


——

  
  
  


It’s  _ not _ fine at home. But I can’t tell anyone that. I don’t want Ben to get in trouble, and I don’t want anyone to find out what we’ve been doing. It wouldn’t be bad for just him - I’m a willing participant in our messed up relationship. And even with everything still going on, I want him.

 

Part of it is simple physical attraction. He’s gorgeous, tall and dark and handsome. Those deep set, almond eyes that gaze at me with such intensity. His hard, muscular body that lifts and positions me however he pleases. He makes me feel small and safe. Or rather, he  _ did. _

 

Now, I feel as though I’m walking on eggshells. I go through the motions with a hyper awareness that makes me exhausted. It feels like I’m constantly being watched, not just by Ben. My scalp prickles with anxiety as Ben cooks dinner and I work on my math homework. I try not to act as though anything is different. We eat burgers and chips and then cuddle on the couch watching the Office until I’m nearly asleep. 

 

“I think I’m gonna go to bed,” I say, fighting through a yawn. Ben is stoner and nods, kissing my head before I slip from his embrace and head to my room. I shut the door behind me, take a deep breath. I flip on my bed with a sigh. 

 

_ If I were a hidden camera, where would I be?  _

 

I look around the corners of my room and grab my llama-Ben, hugging him to my chest. I pull him back and gaze at his beady black eyes. I’ve always felt like he was watching me. Sighing in disgust, I hurl it over the side of my bed where he lands with a clunk.

 

_ Weird. Stuffed animals don’t make that noise, do they? _

 

I stand and fish him off the ground, squeezing his furry little body. There’s something inside of him. My stomach drops.

 

I run my fingers over him with growing dread until I find a tiny seam in his belly. Using just my nails and the adrenaline that pumps through my veins, I tear him open. A tiny black box with a cord is inside. I fish it out - one of his eyeballs pops out of socket.

 

A tiny red light blinks at me. I feel my stomach churn.

 

He  _ has _ been recording me. From the very beginning. I quickly replace the camera and box, stuffing them inside the stuffed llama and placing it on my nightstand. He probably saw all of this - he probably knows that  _ I know  _ now.

 

I’m sick to my stomach. But what can I do? Run out and hurl accusations?  _ Leave?  _ Where would I go? My heart aches at this betrayal but it’s Ben, and I love him. The first person that has ever made me feel more than invisible. The first person that made me feel loved. 

 

I change with my back to the llama, wondering if there are more cameras hidden around my room. Paranoia prickles at my scalp as I climb into bed, pulling the blankets up to my chin. 

 

I need to think through every option. I need more information. I’m suddenly exhausted - emotionally and physically - and I surrender to sleep as it pulls me under.

  
  
  


——

  
  
  


“I’m sick,” I groan when Ben wakes me the next morning. A look of panic flashes across his face as he crosses the distance to my bed. His palm on my forehead is warm as he checks my temperature. “I think I’m about to start my period. I just feel like garbage.”

 

He seems to buy it, nodding. “I’ll run up to the pharmacy and get you some Motrin and Gatorade.” 

 

“And chocolate?” I ask, hopeful. I have to play my part - I can’t let on that I know anything is amiss. Ben cracks a grin and nods, bending down to peck my lips before straightening. He looks so handsome with his hair loose in a black v-neck that clings to his chest and arms. 

 

“And chocolate. Don’t move, I’ll be back in a minute.” He tucks a loose lock of my hair behind my ear and heads out. I wait a whole five minutes after I hear the door shut before I slip out of bed and creep down the hall to his bedroom.

 

His laptop is open on top of his bed. I suck in a grateful breath as I bring it to life - no password needed. His browser is open to some kind of chat room. I lean closer to read the green text as it appears.

 

_ $50 for a facial _

_ $200 for anal cream pie _

_ She’s so hot OP is lucky  _

_ Not that hot bro  _

 

I frown and chew my lip as more people chime in. My stomach roils as I realize they’re talking about  _ me. _

 

I minimize the browser and gaze at the desk top. There’s a folder labeled Rey and I click on it - then gasp. It’s videos, hundreds of videos, all starring me. I click the first one and see myself sprawled in my princess bed with Ben between my thighs, eating me out. The detail is perfect, though the lighting is dim. But it’s definitely me, my little breasts jiggling as I write. Quickly, I close it and the folder out and sit on his bed in shock.

 

Having the evidence in front of me, confirming my suspicions, makes me sick. I rush to the bathroom and heave over the toilet. Ben has been using me - manipulating me, taking advantage of me - from day one. Am I the first? Has there been girls before me?

 

I hear his car and dash to get back in bed. I don’t know how I’ll look at him after all of this. I need a plan, but I can hardly think. It’s too easy to slip back into my role of role of sweet, oblivious Rey. Like I can pretend nothing ever happened. 

  
  



	19. Chapter 19

I wake to him on top of me. Sleep-groggy, I let him cuddle against my back. His strong arms are clutching me tightly against his chest and he’s pressed flush against me. My skin is pleasantly warm and I feel comfy-cozy for a few moments until I remember - and instantly go stiff as a board.

 

_ The cameras… the money… everything he’s done to you has been a manipulation. _ My stomach lurches but I remain outwardly calm, forcing my frame to relax against him again. His nose traces the side of my neck and I shiver in a combination of disgust and desire. 

 

How can I still want him after what he did to me? But it’s true - some sick part of me thrills as his erection presses into my bottom. But he can’t do that to me - he can’t use me, he can’t film me and profit off it without my knowledge. Anger flares up inside of me - a hot ball in my stomach that trickles down to my core.

 

My whole life, everyone has taken the power from me. My parents, the state, the various foster parents I’ve had.  _ No more. It stops now. _

 

Before my brain registers I’m doing it, I roll on top of him and use my weight to pin his hands down. For a few beats, he stares up at me in the dimmed light of my bedroom. I watch his throat work as he swallows.

 

“I know you know,” he says quietly. 

 

“And?” The word is laced with venom.

 

“I’m sorry. I know that’s not enough, but I am.” He sounds sorry but he’s so good at manipulating me, showing me one side of himself, that I won’t allow myself to believe it.

 

“Fuck you,” I say. I feel his dick twitch under me and scoff in disbelief. “How much, Ben?”

 

“How much what?” He shakes his head, confused. 

 

I rock my traitorous hips against him. I’m wet, my body reacting precisely how he’s trained it to. Like we can’t be in the room together without my body becoming aroused. I hate it - but I can’t ignore it. My cunt throbs with need as he shifts under my weight. I dig my nails into his wrist and bare more of my weight down.

 

“How much money did you make off me, Ben?” I angry my hips so my crotch rubs over his erection just right. I swallow a moan that tries to escape my throat.

 

“A lot,” he admits in a hoarse voice.

 

“I’m a hot ticket, huh?” I shake my head as I continue to grind against him. I bet it’s torture for him, not being the one in control. He’s orchestrated all of this, schemed his way here. I dig my knees into his ribs. “Making all this money off me. Keeping it to yourself. Kinda shitty of you, on top of not having my consent in all of it?” 

 

“I’ve done - horrible things,” he says through grit teeth. “Fuck, Rey - you’re killing me.”

 

“Not even close,” I huff breathlessly. “How many videos are there of me?”

 

“I don’t know - a lot. I distribute them privately after their paid for.” He tries to get me to release him but I dig my nails in harder. Maybe I’ve drawn blood - I hope I have. 

 

“You’ve treated me like trash, Ben. Do you even care about me?” I shift lower and yank the waistband of his underwear down so his thick length bobs free. I smooth my hand over the head in the way I know he likes and he gasps. “Do you even love me, or was this just a game to you?”

 

“I love you - so much,” Ben gasps as I jerk him. Abruptly, I let him go. It’s what I wanted to hear - but how can I believe anything he says after what he’s done? “I never meant for it to go this far, I swear to god. I just - I made a video for me, and one of my buddies thought it was hot. He offered to pay to see me - see me fuck you when you were asleep,” he babbles as I pull the crotch of my panties aside and line us up.

 

“That’s messed up,” I comment as I sink down his girth. The stretch is delicious and momentarily clouds over the betrayal in my heart. But it’s brief before the fire returns. “You  _ used _ me.”

 

“I know, I’m - _ fuck, you’re so tight - _ sorry!” He grunts as I’m seated fully atop him. I rock my hips gently, and it feels so good. We never do it like this, and I wonder why. Leaning forward, I pin his wrists again.

 

“I should go to the fucking police,” I say as I slowly rise then sink over his throbbing cock. Ben’s eyes go wide as saucers and his body goes limp beneath me - except for his dick. I ride him slowly with a devious grin, small tits jiggling with each thrust. “You know what happens to guys like you in prison, Ben. Especially a guy as handsome as you.”

 

Tingles shiver down my spine and spark in my womb. It feels so good to be in control of this, of him, like I’m regaining my power with each slide of his cock against my pussy. I fuck him harder and he groans in pleasure.

 

“Maybe I should tell them what you did to me. Recorded me - a minor - and sold it online to pervs.” I grin at his distress - it feels  _ good  _ to see him squirm.

 

“I fucking love you, Rey. You can’t - you can’t do that to me.” His cheeks flush with exertion and his abs clench. Is this turning him on? It probably is - obviously Ben is a kinky asshole. I ignore him for a while, letting the pleasure build up with each thrust of my hips. “I’ll stop. I’ll get rid of all the cameras. We can go back to how it was,” he begs. A surge of power shoots through me and I squeeze around him.

 

“We can’t,” I say, shaking my head. “I can’t just forget about this, Ben - no way.” I tip my head back and ignore his desperate pleas as my orgasm rolls through me, and I cry out as tears track down my cheeks.

 

Ben follows shortly after me. I want to scream and rip his hair out, slash my nails down his face. I  _ hate him _ . I want to hurt him as much as he’s hurt me, but I don’t know how.

 

“Get out of my bed,” I snap once we’ve both recovered. “I need space. Time to think. Just leave me alone.”

 

Sighing, he nods and stands, adjusts his briefs. “I’m not lying, Rey. It really started on accident. I love you more than you could ever fathom.” I let him kiss my forehead before he leaves my room. I’m left a shaking mess, tears running down my cheeks. I curl up, confused, afraid, and alone.

 

I have no idea what to do next.

 


	20. Chapter 20

The next few days go by slow. It’s impossible to go to school and pretend everything is fine. Rose and Finn seem to sense something is off with me, but I shrug off their questions and dodge Rose’s concerned looks.

 

There are videos of me all over the darknet. Strangely, that’s not what bothers me.

 

It’s the fact that he did it without asking me. That he used me for profit. That he didn’t care how I might feel or think. 

 

My heart feels hollow as I crawl into his bed. I still seek him to comfort me, even though he was the one that hurt me. I think about what to do constantly, chewing my lip bloody and biting my nails to the quick. I cry in the shower as Ben washes me, looking guilty and torn. My heart is breaking and I don’t know how to put it back together.

 

I start doing research. How much money could he be making off our videos? The numbers I find make my jaw drop. The Testimonies from cam girls out there make it seem like fun, like getting paid to get off is the best job I the world. Maybe, if I was a partner and not an unknowing toy, it could be good.

 

It takes a week to make my decision. I bring it up at dinner.

 

“I want half.”

 

Ben looks up from his pot roast with raised eyebrows as I push baby carrots around my plate. He looks lost, so I clear my throat and press on.

 

“I want half the money, the sales, whatever. Profit. From the videos.” I stare at him as he watches me. I can practically hear the gears turning over in his head. “College is expensive. I don’t want to go into debt.”

 

“We haven’t made  _ that _ much,” Ben says slowly. He looks handsome but sad under the kitchen light, wearing a gray hoodie with his dark hair loose. I can still see what drew me to him in the first place. Older, experienced - of course I was flattered when he approached me. Of course I wanted him too. I still do - but I have to put him in his place. 

 

I don’t  _ have _ anyone else. I know it’s fucked up. But I can’t leave him. 

 

I love him, just as much as I hate him. But I also know I have a unique opportunity. No family to disappoint, no one to be ashamed of me. I’ve been doing research. 

 

“Not yet,” I agree softly. “But, I still have a year and a half until I graduate. And now that I know what’s going on… now that I can participate…”

 

“You mean, you want to continue?” Ben looks shocked. His face is pale and his eyes owlishly wide. I push away the urge to roll my eyes - what other choice do I have? I don’t want to leave him, the life we have together, the school district and soccer team. I have a life, a real life. Something I didn’t think was possible in all my years of being bounced from group home to foster care. I don’t want to throw it away. And I’m less bothered by being recorded than I am not having a say in it.

 

“I want to continue. On  _ my terms. _ ”

 

Ben gulps and nods. “I’m listening.”

 

“I want to go on birth control.” That is a must - no negotiation. I don’t know if I ever want kids, but I certainly don’t want one any time soon. Being an underage amateur porn Star is enough to deal with in high school. 

 

“Done.” Ben nods in agreement.

 

“No more fucking me in my sleep,” I say next. “It’s weird.”

 

“I like it,” Ben murmurs, twin spots of pink blooming on his cheeks. “I like trying not to wake you up… it’s hot.”

 

I feel my eyebrow arch. “It’s creepy. You have to stop - unless we previously agree on something, I don’t want to do it.” 

 

“Okay,” he says. 

 

“I want in on the chat rooms and dealing with customers.” 

 

“They’re old perverts, Rey. I don’t want you to talk to them.” He combs a hand through his inky black waves and I shake my head.

 

“You are an old perv, Ben. I think they’ll appreciate talking to me and I might be able to upsell. I’ve been doing a lot of reading.” I straighten my spine and remind myself that  _ I  _ have the power here, not Ben. No matter how big and handsome he is. I can tell the cops what he’s done to me. He would lose  _ everything _ . 

 

“Fine,” he says through grit teeth. “If you insist.” 

 

“I want you to promise,” I say carefully. I’ve thought this through a million times in the past few days - I wanted to be sure that he would never pull this on me again. It feels like I’ve grown years over days and I stare at him hard, narrowing my hazel eyes. “That you won’t do any of this again. I’m involved now. No more sneaking, no more… lying and manipulating. I want you to  _ remember, _ Ben. I can  _ end you _ with one phone call.”

 

“You wouldn’t,” he says, but I can hear the uncertainty in his voice. 

 

“I don’t want to. But this is your first and second strike. One more…” I let the threat and promise hang between us. He shifts in his chair, nervously. 

 

“Okay, Rey. Whatever you want.” He reaches for my hand and I give it to him. He squeezes, and I squeeze back. “I promise - I’ll never do it again. I’ll never do anything behind your back, I’ll never hurt you again. I love you, Rey. I swear to god I love you.”

 

“Then prove it.” I smile sadly, and he nods.

 

It’ll be okay, I think. Maybe not today, but someday.

 


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short epilogue/peek into their future! Surprise!

I exhale a slow breath, smoke spiraling from my cigarette, and glance at Kylo’s sleeping form over my shoulder. He looks worried even unconscious - deep frown on his handsome face. The man doesn’t age, though a few silver hairs are threaded through his dark black hair. He wears it shorter now, no more buns. It curls over his big was but doesn’t conceal them very well.

 

The computer screen glows in front of me. I’m dressed in a tiny white tank top, my tits pressed against the material so you can see the outline of my nipples. The camera records and streams me across the Internet. Now that I’m over eighteen, we are stuck on the darkweb anymore. With a decent fan base, I transitioned to legal sex work. It’s not been that different than before.

 

_ Is that your man behind you? Does he know what a little slut he has for a girlfriend?  _

 

_ Show ur butthole _

 

_ Can you deep throat him? I bet he’s got a fat cock ;) _

 

I smile like I’m reading a pleasant weather forecast, not the filthy thoughts of dirty men from around the globe. Some customers are sweet - offering me presents or Amazon gift cards to see me twerk and rub my tits and flash my crotch. Some men demand it, thinking they’re entitled to see my body because of my profession. I fight the urge to roll my eyes and glance again at Ben’s sleeping form.

 

It’s been an interesting few years together. High school sucked, because everyone was whispering about what was going on between Ben and I. People knew - Rose  _ knew _ despite my protests. She dropped out of soccer and stopped talking to me senior year. It sucked but I still had Ben. No matter what, we were stuck together.

 

**Snoke420:** _ How much to see you fuck him? _

 

I smiled like a Cheshire Cat and listed our couples’ options. He picks the most expensive one and I wiggle in my seat tonhear the alert for a deposit go off. I flip on the light above our bed as we go into a private chat room. Immediately, there are “spies” - people who pay a slightly discounted rate to watch, too. I angle the camera and zoom on the bed. 

 

“Baby,” I purr, swinging a leg over his hips to straddle him. Ben grunts softly, eyes squeezing shut reluctantly. I rub myself against his crotch to wake him up - his dick twitches in the cradle of my thighs and he groans. “We have customers.”

 

“Fuck,” he grumbles. Lazily, he drags a hand down my thigh, and low heat builds in my core. After these years, I still want him, react just as strongly. I tingle pleasantly as I pull my shirt up over my head.

 

“I’ll do the work,” I promise, slipping backwards and dragging his boxers down too. His hardening cock springs free and I lick my lips, arching my ass towards the camera but careful to keep the dick sucking in view, too. 

 

I close my eyes as I take him in my mouth. He hisses sensitively as I suck him hard.

 

“Jesus, Rey.” He cups the back of my head and scratches my scalp as I take him deep and he stiffens more.

 

Once he’s nice and hard, pointing up towards his belly, I shimmy out of my panties straddle him. Our eyes lock as I hover over him, rubbing the tip over my slick folds. Ben thrusts his hips, sleep-lazy, and I plant my hands on the toned plains of his chest, hips rocking down in his familiar girth. 

 

“Does it feel good?” I ask, and he nods, biting his lip. I tease him, slowly pulling almost all the way out before easing back down. I hear a flurry of messages but ignore them. I just want to fuck my boyfriend until we both cum.

 

I palm my tits as I ride, slowly going faster. Ben is reading the screen and taps my thigh. “They want doggy.” I nod and fall onto my hands and knees as he slips out and behind me. The guys love to see Ben take control of me. When we fuck for ourselves, it’s the other way around.

 

Turns out, my scheming man likes to be taken advantage of. He likes when I tie him up and tease him, leave him aching for more. My favorite is straddling that beautiful face and grinding my cunt against him until he’s pinching me, breathless.

 

But for customers, I let him slap my ass and call me his slut. I let him fuck my ass and cum on my face. Whatever, it’s not really  _ us. _ Just two attractive bodies moving together, looking hot and getting strangers on the Internet off for a hefty price.

 

“I’m not gonna last,” I murmur as my belly tightens. Pleasure builds steadily and Ben reaches below to strum my clit expertly. I shut my eyes against the onslaught of pleasure that rushes over me. I make sure I moan nice and loud, smile through it. Men like it when it looks over the top. 

 

“Wanna cum on me?” I ask, and Ben hisses yes under his breath. I kneel in front of him, making sure the camera gets a good angle, and lick the crease where his thigh meets his pelvis. He fists a hand in my brown hair and drags me towards his dick. I suck him down with a practiced pressure that I know will quickly get him off. He pants and calls me dirty names, says how  _ fucking sexy  _ I am. I pull back as his balls draw up tight to his body, jerk him using my spit and arousal as lubricant. He curses as he spurts ropes of hot cum over my cheeks and lips and chin. 

 

We finish up and I log off to take a break. I sprawl on the bed beside Ben as he catches his breath. It’s so weird to think that a handful of years ago he was sneaking around to record me. That he changed my life for his benefit, that he made me the unwitting porn star I am today. 

 

“You hungry?” He curls around me, big body warm and naked pressed against me. I nod. “I’ll go make us a snack. Don’t move, babe.” He kisses my temple and slowly - reluctantly - extricates himself to pad into the kitchen. I sigh, content, thinking of how so much has changed. 

 

My story was never going to be a happy one. Stuck with Plutt, miserable and neglected, or with Ben, where I was at least  _ loved. _ In his own way. He always loved me, but now he sees me as an equal. Perhaps even as a superior. Either way, what we have works and I’m happier than I ever expected to be. 

 

He comes back with a plate of cheese and crackers and grapes, pressing one ripe grape against my lips with a grin. I hold it in my teeth and eye him playfully. 

 

It might’ve started in a bad place. But Ben is the only home I’ve ever had. And I love him, regardless of the past. 


End file.
